Any Suggestions?

[mare5]

Prior to this 3 week quit, I was torturing myself by smoking then not smoking. I had the warped belief that I could smoke one , then next thing I know , I was back to my addictive habits. I decided to get off the roller coaster .So, here's the dilema ~ I'm not willing to avoid spending time with a close friend that smokes. When I get together with her, it's always been coffee & cigarettes. She'll give a WTG when I quit. The facts are that she will continue to smoke in her car with myself & her children, says  ~ I have too much stress to quit,  Maybe  this isn't the right time for you to quit, You can get on your own band wagon, I'm gonna smoke. I feel good about not smoking, but after coming home, I want  to cry cuz I want to smoke ~ I think,  I'll always be a smoker. I need to stop fighting it. I have fallen in this trap over & over.Any remarks will be appreciated.

[schwack]

Everyone's quit is different.  I wanted mine to last forever.  I still do.  In my first 30 days I stopped hanging out with all my smoking friends.  Talked to them on the phone, but I did not want to be around smoke.  I couldn't.  It was too much to ask too soon.  You too, could make this choice.  I needed to be in a bubble for 30 days.  If you believe you'll always be a smoker, then that's what you'll be.  When you really really are done done with smoking, you'll make the right choices for YOU to protect your quit.  Coming here, reading, writing, sharing is all a huge part of it.  Come grow with us.  I'm smoke free 88 days and I wouldn't change a thing about how I quit.  I've gotten a taste of life without this freak out need for a smoke every 20 minutes.  Its an awesome place to be!

[JonesCarpeDiem]

sounds like your friend would just like to keep you smoking and her kids choking.

also sounds like you don't want to quit and are right on the edge of going either way.

and " i think I'll always be a smoker." That sounds like you've just plain given up on yourself.

what do you think?

[kate8]

You wanna change your life, You are Gonna have to Change your mind. Im 32 days smoke free. I beieved in myself and have been protecting my quit at All Cost!!!

[graeham]

Hay there, be strong with your mind set. If being a non smoker is what you want to do then do it, if not try to tell your self that one day, and set that day. Let your friends and family now that day and plan for it, They will understand that you dont want to be around smokers for a while ,if not to bad this is for you and not everyine else, your quitting for your self so be selfish about who and were you hang out and when your ready to see them again as a non smoker thet wiil be happy for you.. Just remember its about you and the smokes no one else...

[mare5]

Thank you! Coming here while feeling weak was a good thing. I'm not giving up on myself. Trying to prove I won't smoke regardless of the temptation/association isn't neccessary. I can & do choose to protect this quit by any means. I know full well that changes need to be made. I will continue to focus on all positive aspects of quitting

[Makela]

When I quit, I thought I could still be with my smoking friends, but the temptation was too much so I had to remove myself. I told them what I was doing and of course, they wanted me to continue smoking with them, but I had to quit. I made up my mind and did it. I was closed in for about 30 days before I could be around anyone that smoked. To this day, I protect my quit by avoiding people and places where there is smoke. My quit is too important. Hopefully you will feel the same way too. Good luck and make up your mind to do what you know is best for you.

[Thomas3.20.2010]

For me, just the sight of a pack of cigs was(is) too much! I can be around my friends who smoke but not when they smoke, even now at 17 weeks! I'm not going to let anybody jeopardize my health with their smoke clouds! Most people have completely understood - you just DON'T smoke around someone with COPD! Hopefully they'll understand - you just DON'T SMOKE! If you don't have COPD now - keep it up - you'll get it OR get smart and QUIT while you're ahead!

[hwc]

http://whyquit.com/joel/mp3/listen.html

Go to the link above. Scroll down and listen to: DAY 3 - DEALING WITH PEOPLE WHO TRY TO UNDERCUT YOUR QUIT

[gafan]

I've had friends like that in the past, oh, wait a minute......they weren't my friends, sorry!

Real friends don't let friends drink and drive.............just like real friends don't try to jeopardize their friends decisions......they support them........

I think your friend can either step outside for a minute or avoid smoking all together....I mean that's what friends do for one another, right? I would rather value the time I have for my friendships, than to lose them all together. I am willing to make sacrafices for my friends, so I would ask for the same in return.

Sometimes you just have to put people on the back burner, and focus on yourself. I'm not saying to drop your friends, but take a break. They need to understand that you are bettering yourself and it's a sensitive time for you right now.....

[limorgan]

I had a friend like that.... once.  We are still friends (my kids grandma  actually) but when i first quit  I told her i would call on the phone but that i was not going to visit or hang out until i felt like i was in control of  my quit. I promised not to be an obnoxious exsmoker and then after a month of talking on the phone we decided on some "ground rules" for when and where she would smoke, etc.  if we were hanging out together, especially with the kids around. Thing is, by that time it really didnt bother me any more to be around smokers but i didnt tell her that because she has cut way back on her smoking-- at least when we are around each other. 

like some of the other commentators on your blog, a good or real friend isnt going to stand in your way but will support you.  thing is .. she might be afraid that if you quit that somehow it breaks a connection in the friendship.  kind of like friends who "party" together but sooner or later it gets old and you move on then it seems the common denominator you have is gone. In that case, bye bye old friend and hello new..

[MissiAnn]

I think your friends should be supportive or they really aren't your friend. Hang in there. You are making the right choice by not smoking. Don't let anyone take that way from you.