Addictions. We all have them

[JonesCarpeDiem]

If they control us and how they control us is what I'd like to discuss.
There is a built in evolutionary need to want to feel good. We can't really change that, it's what we've inherited.
Addictions cause a dopamine release. That's what makes us feel good.

Some people stay busy all the time. Accomplishing things triggers their dopamine release. Some people create. For some it's the love of being in nature. For others music, art, cooking, photography or some other means. A jogger runs to get their dopamine. Sports and exercise are considered healthy addictionsbut I have known people who could only focus on getting to the beach and surfing. It's really a matter of how much you allow it to control your daily life.
 

Now let's consider the unhealthy addictions and how they make like minded addicts flock together for acceptance and validation. This is true of any drug.
I've always said that if you want to break a drug addiction, you have to stop hanging out with the people who share the same addiction. I know that some of you are living with smokers and that can be difficult as you are constantly reminded of doing it. It can stay in the forefront balanced on the fulcrum of "should I or shouldn't I?". If you distance yourself from it, it is easier to let it go. You can distance it mentally with some of the techniques we teach here, even if you live with a smoker.
 

Besides the health problems we know smoking creates, it most certainly puts limitations on who you interact with in all areas of your life.
Can they smell you coming as you enter the job interview?
Are you unable to concentrate 30 minutes into that contract negotiation?
Do they really want you to hold their baby?
How about the smoker box when you fill out that dating questionnaire?
The only way to quit smoking is to disengage from it and distance yourself from fixating on it.

IMPORTANT: With our evolutionary need to get dopamine and feel good, it is imperative that you find addictions that replace the nicotine based infrastructure with something different and positive so you don't go back to smoking.

As Peggy says:
Smokers don't get to smoke. They have to smoke.
If you have no tools in your arsenal to quit smoking and stay quit, ask us.

[MarilynH]

Wow, thanks Dale for this wonderful blog. 

[hwc]

Dale:

I think that coming to understand the trap of nicotine drug addiction and recognize how it forces you to smoke is probably the best single thing you can do to successfully becoming a happy ex-smoker.

I found that understanding what was going on allowed me to mock the craves. And, it removed the whole temptation of "should I or shouldn't I" from the equation as I knew exactly what I had to do if I wanted to escape from the trap.

I knew on day 3 that I had a head-start on escaping the trap that had controlled my life all day, every day for 40 years. I also knew that, if I didn't take this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, I would almost certainly smoke all day every day until it killed me. So, I knew, on day 3, that I would never take another puff, no matter what. That made the next few months of transition relatively easy. Oh sure, I had all the predictable stages and craves and triggers, but there was never a single moment when I considered smoking. I had made the decision to escape the trap on day 3. I didn't have to "deprive myself" of smoking with willpower because my goal was escaping the trap. I saw all the temptations and triggers for what they were -- just nicotine junkie mind games to draw me back into the trap.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

I agree.

I had some tough days in the middle of my first 50 days but I didn't think of smoking.

It's how we decide and get started that is important.

[Strudel]

Great one Dale!

[gracie21]

Such a good blog!  Very true and that is how I need to think of it. Gracie

[hex333]

Thanks Dale.  I like having you here.