Last October, Diane Sawyer interviewed Matthew Perry, one of the stars of the hit TV show, Friends. He had just released a memoir about his struggles with alcoholism and addiction, and about his recovery. At the top of the show, Diane asked Matthew: "How can you be sure your recovery will last? How do you know that this time, it's going to stick?" Matthew replied, "Because, I finally surrendered, to the winning side, not the losing side."
That really struck me, because I had a similar goal when I quit 9 years ago today.
Back then, I didn't know if my recovery from smoking was going to be an excruciating nightmare, but I didn't care if it was! For the first time in my miserable history of failed quits, I surrendered to whatever my new quit might need. I wanted to win --- at any cost! --- so I prepared myself to surrender to everything. Not only surrender to it all, but be prepared to embrace it and love it, and be thankful for the experience. This surrendering greatly eased my fears about the withdrawals I might face, because I had already made up my mind to love my journey --- no matter what!
Fortunately for me, because I studied and trained ahead of my quit, and because I cultivated a group of supportive EXers around me, my quit turned out to be pretty typical, with encouraging highs and expected lows, and only one major crisis at Day 120. That's it.
The other winning mindset I surrendered to was refuting the false hope that I could somehow bargain and compromise with my addiction. I finally accepted that, for me, there is no such thing as "cutting back". Half a pack a day was unrealistic. Just 6 in the morning was an absurd delusion. Just one or two "oopsies" a month was still full-on addiction. No, for me, it would have to be either 20 cigarettes a day, or zero. No middle ground. No wiggle room. No special exemptions. I finally surrendered to the immutable truth of N.O.P.E.: not one puff --- ever!
The losing side of this addiction is thinking that you can bargain and compromise with the poisonous demon, and still win somehow.
The winning side of this addiction is surrendering to the truth, embracing that truth, loving that truth, growing a faith in that truth, and believing the promise that there is victory and peace and happiness on the other side of No Man's Land.
So, surrender to this journey!
Every day is worth it!
I should know, I have 3,287 days worth of proof!
Storm
9 YEARS OF FREEDOM
