I have made it through my first two months of being smoke/vape free today!
When I started this journey the last (and God willing final) time, I used the NRT gum but quickly switched to lozenges because I like them more and I don't chew the gum correctly.
The first three weeks I used 4 mg lozenges. At week four I switched to 2 mg lozenges with the hope of weaning myself off of nicotine completely.
Today is day 60, and I have found myself using more and more of them more often. I don't want to relapse so I switched back to 4 mg lozenges for right now.
I know that it would be easier and cheaper to stop taking the lozenges, detox completely and just be done with it.
I thought I was on my way. Last week I had two days in a row where I only used two lozenges all day and when I woke up I had waited four to six hours before I had my first lozenge of the day. That was amazing. I hope I can get back to that and soon.
My hubby still vapes, and my friends and family smoke/vape too. It is hard for me to cope but I am managing. At first I was angry because they didn't want to stop. Then I had to give that to God and stop trying to control everything. I have to control me and that's all I can do. It isn't easy being around people who smoke and blow smoke in your face when they know that I have quit. I am frustrated but it is going to be ok. I know I have support here.
Thank you all for letting me be here. Celebrate with me these first 60 days! I know I have a long way to go and that NRT essentially just prolongs the withdrawal process. It is hard for me.
I have recently gotten into recovery for drug/alcohol addiction and I find it easier to stay clean than getting off of nicotine. I'm worried that I will be stuck on lozenges forever. I'm afraid of that initial jump into being nicotine free.
I have been breathing easier and I'm starting to work on me. I have been very angry and ugly with my people lately. I feel bad about being so angry and mean. I hope that I can get over this hump soon.
Thank you, for letting me say what I needed to.
60 days smoke free, I will not smoke with you today! NO.P.E.
