I couldn't be happier with how things are going. Yes, I admit, I had a junkie panic moment mid-morning yesterday after taking the last patch off at 5:15 am. But it was just a moment. I am happy to be nicotine-free!
Also, I 've been a little tired and cranky, but some of this is because our air conditioner is out and it's hot in every room but one. A bedroom with a window a/c where everyone bunks together and which we all use for a few minutes throughout the day as a place of refuge from the sometimes overwhelming south Louisiana heat.
I don't really crave or want cigarettes because I have made a decision not to smoke again, and also prayer takes care of the craves/desires, for me at least. I've been taking it one day at a time. And when junkie thoughts come up about smoking, I know it's just the addiction talking. I think to myself, "I don't do that anymore, and I am happy to be free!" and the thoughts dissipate.
50 Days of freedom today at 11:55 am! But it sure took me a long time to get here. And many tries. And I don't ever want to go back to Day 1. I am keeping my guard up, and am even more vigilant than usual right now because I just got off the patch. Today at Sunday Mass I will give thanks that I am free. Time to get ready.
