I was at my sisters house tonight and she like the loving wonderful sister she is made everyone go outside to smoke so I didnt have to be around it! I did look at her pack once and thought about asking for one, but the thought was more out of habit and less out of need. Right away I was like "what are you thinking?" I am finding it easier and easier to be around people who smoke as long as I am not cooped up in a room with them. I am not sure how I can handle that but hey, I will work my way up to that. I have a group of friends who would get together every saturday night and have coffee and chain smoke and catch up about what has been going on through the week. It is a blast and I havent been for a couple of weeks because I am not ready to test my quit in that environment yet. I am hoping by the end of the month I will be able to do it. I very rarely have the desire for a cigarette and when I do it isnt so much of a " I want to rip someones face off" kind of craving, it is more of a nagging "left the coffee pot on" or "bought an insanely heavy watch that feels funny on my arm" kind of sensation.
My sister did slip up and ask me if I wanted to get out of the pool with her to smoke and I could only stare at her blankly. I think she took it as "how dare you ask me to smoke when you know I have quit" but it was more of a "but i dont....??? Hey! I dont smoke!" It was an odd realization. Kind of like when I borrowed a 5 bucks from my mom for gas a couple of days ago and she said I could as long as I didnt buy cigarettes with it. My kneejerk response was "oh god no!" and I meant it. It hadnt even crossed my mind!
Things are just good I guess. I am kind of suprised how easy it feels to be a non smoker (at least right now) Who knows what tomorrow will bring?
