Wow, can't believe it's been two weeks. Some days have felt like an uphill battle, but I am committed to this. My best friend, sadly, already relapsed. She made it 6 days before rationalizing herself into buying a pack. I asked her again to join this community, or any online community, but you can only lead a horse to water.
As a cautionary tale, let me tell you her story:
Bee, as I will call her here, is a 30 year old pack and a half a day smoker. She was taken by the addiction at 17. The addiction is starting to cause her problems for her health. She has asthma and high blood pressure, so high that her doctor asked her to quit smoking. She has a 3 year old daughter, and is a stay at home mom. Bee has tried to quit on at least 5 seperate occasions before this most recent attempt. Nicodemon, as yall say, has her in his clutches.
She put down the smokes for 6 days. For 6 days, she resisted the cravings and the withdrawal pains, and the siren call of a smoke. But on the 7th day, Nicodemon came calling in the form of a friend (not me) on her facebook wall. Temptation comes in all forms. Bee posted on facebook that she had broken down and bought a pack, yet been unable to light one. She felt free at last, unable to bring herself to light that cigarette because her will to quit was stronger. These are the words of a "friend": Best thing is if you mess up don't beat yourself up over it. Just enjoy it. Or only half of it and then keep going it's not like you pass or fail a test.
While I agree that if you slip up you shouldn't beat yourself down, I have a huge problem with the words "just enjoy it". That, to me, sounds a lot like encouragement. Imagine you are someone who just quit. You broke down, bought a pack, but didn't smoke it. You just had it in your lap, wondering "now what?" You post about how you bought a pack, searching for support. Instead, a "friend" tells you to "enjoy" it. All the other words of support and encouragement fade away, and you can't see them. All you see is "enjoy it... its not like you pass or fail a test." You open the pack, and you smoke one.
It was downhill from there for Bee. Once she smoked 1, she smoked 2 which led to 3, which ultimately led to a whole pack. Ladies and gentelmen, the Nicodemon can come in many forms. Be vigilant.
I don't want to smoke. NOPE. But I know the demon can whisper in my ear any time.
