It really doesn't seem that long ago that I was so unconciously dependent on cigarettes that I planned my entire life around them....how sad!! Now, I'm planning the rest of my life around being a eX-smoker, without worrying in certain circumstances when/where I would be able to smoke, how far I used to have to walk at work to smoke a cigarette with only an allowed 10 minute break and fitting one in my 30 minute lunch break....racing around like an idiot....not one bit relaxing....going outside to smoke in rotten weather (although I did smoke in my home and in my vehicle), not to mention the expense, the horrid smell and ALL the negative effects smoking had on my health, in general. I had no idea that all this was happening on a daily basis until I got serious and QUIT. I've even noticed that my 14 year old cat hangs out with me more since I quit....yep, apparantly it affects our pets, too
I can't say that I look my best at 53 years old....it's been a rough couple years and yep, the aging process has definitely begun for me but the fact that I quit smoking and plan on staying quit the rest of my life leads me to believe that despite the natural aging process, I will be a lot happier and healthier and probably not age near as quickly as I would have as a smoker. I was terrified of weight gain starting this quit (already overweight for a few years now) and may have gained a few pounds but not enough to go up a size, thankfully. I did buy a new vehicle right before I quit so I didn't have to deal with trying to get the smell out of it but definitely went on a cleaning frenzy in my home....YUK....for example, spraying cleaner on a wall and watching the gross yellow nicotine run down the wall before I had a chance to wipe it down...I did that for days and days....pretty freekin' nasty!! I didn't really notice the smoke smell before I had been quit 2 weeks or so.
I've mentioned before that no matter how much we believe we are disguising the smell of being a smoker on our person or in our environment, it's an extremely tuff thing to accomplish. I have a girlfriend that quit also and we worked together a few years ago as smokers and just a few weeks ago talked about how we would always have some kind of mint, use sanitizer on our hands at the elevator re-entering the building we worked in, and thinking that being outside and smoking that nobody would smell it on us because we would make our best attempt at staying down wind from the constant release of smoke from the lit cigarette and from our exhales. I truly believed I smelled just like a breath mint when I walked back inside. My brother still closet smokes, he has for years and years...his wife hates it. She knows he smokes because he smells like a cigarette all the time .... they argued for years about it and she gave up so because she gave up he truly bellieves that she can't smell it on him anymore because of all he goes through to hide it from her still and to disguise the smell.
I didn't think I had much to say today but it's pouring outside and I'm a little bored. Feel free to go to my page on here and read my past blogs....cold turkey quitter, I am!!
I pray that I have the continued strength needed to make this life-long commitment to staying an eX-smoker and I wish the same for everyone who is thinking about quitting, starting their quit or deep in to it.
I still get very discouraged when I read that someone who survived a QUIT a lot longer than myself smoked one or bought a pack and is now again attempting a new QUIT. That can happen to any one of us...we are addicts. The fact that it's so easy to go right back to smoking in itself terrifies me and hopefully there is just enough terror there to help me continue to remain an eX-smoker....NOPE.....Not One Puff Ever.....NOPE.....PLEASE QUIT.....
