Today is day 15 for me
. I'm doing much better than I thought I would. I never smoked in the house...always outside on our porch swing. I've managed to get through the triggers that going outside caused, I've managed to get through the driving triggers and a few other situations that were triggers. This is where I need some advice... there is a clubhouse here with a huge patio overlooking the pool and jacuzzi. The patio is the hub of activity... there is always something going on down there...Small cafe...a bar, karaoke, bingo, theme dances, live music, water aerobics, even Leslie Sansone walking dvd fitness daily on the dance floor. I haven't been down there for 15 days because going there is a huge trigger. You see, every time I went to the patio I smoked...6 years of doing that here. One half of the patio is smoking. The other half is non-smoking...no wall or anything to separate the sections...just a row of nicer tables. I used to go to water aerobics and the walking fitness 5 days a week... Shoot...I just burst out crying...I miss the activities... I miss my friends...4 of my friends work here and they are smokers. I also have non-smoking friends in the fitness class. My best friend is my biggest supporter! My point is...I want to go swim in the pool...I want to get back to exercising...I want to go down to the grass to listen to the band tonight...I'm afraid of going down there and being hit with a huge trigger. Any suggestions of how I deal with this? I'm paralyzed with fear!!!
Deborah 15 DOF
