Welcome to you.

[jim_taddeo]

Everbody,
You will see that I am adding as we go. There may eventually be some structure to this but please feel free to open discussions or bring forward your ideas.

I am going to go back to the root issue of my crazy history and then progress forward. It took me two seperate 6 week long inpatient treatments to get at this one issue. But you don't think that stopped my self destruction do you? 😉 I'm a battle hardened fool and carried on for years after that, that is until I met up with my present wife whom I have known since we were kids. It's crazy and true. I've been healing fairly well since then and our daughter has no idea her HERO was a madman. I will fill her in someday but not too soon.

I feel it is time to share it with others in the hopes that I may be able to save just one of you a little bit time and self destruction. For certain it will finalize my chosen path of recovery and I truly know in my soul that if I stray this time I'm not coming back. I'm 42 years old and I'm not going down that way. There is way too much to live for and way too much left to do.
32 days smoke free, 7 years 8 mos clean, 30 years 3 mos since the key trigger event, HP willing at least that amount of time to go!
God bless you all,
Jim

[jim_taddeo]

By the way I'm still working with my primary trigger event and the preceeding conditioning. It will probably last the rest of my life............So Mote it be! At least I don't get fucked up anymore! 🙂 Details to come as I get the balls to tell you! LOL
Jim

[jim_taddeo]

LInda you may also let her know that she will be in like company. Certainly do so if you have not. Tell her I said "please join us" if she likes. HP indeed has it from there. I knew it was a good idea to start this group. Actually HP said so and I listened. Amazing what happens when you do that. LOL So many, probably most, of us smoked right along with our drug use and I remember asking the question when I was in rehab, "what about these cigarettes?" Of course the answer was "you have worse things to worry about, we'll deal with the cigarettes later". WELL, IT'S LATER! WE'RE DEALING WITH THEM. SWEET! Welcome to all that want to share and move forward in fellowship and CLEAN, SOBER, AND SMOKE FREE! NOW THAT IS FREEDOM!
God bless,
SO MOTE IT BE!
Jim

[jim_taddeo]

Absolutely.......This is for everone that wants to be here. There are those out there that just wonder if they may have a problem. There are those that know it. And then there are those , LIKE ME, that have gone to great lengths to PROOVE it. Several times! Good thing I never got into a band even though I can play well. I'd be dead! LOL
So now I'm thinking of ways to use my natural tendencies toward addiction in very positive ways. I'm still discussing this one with HP so I'll be vauge for awhile.....testing the waters a bit first! Lets just say I want to explore the possibilty of making dopamine by studying differential equations..............LOL!
God Bless,
Jim

[jim_taddeo]

Yes...home made dopamine using the human body, mine, to do it. I'll document what I'm planning on trying. LOL It's too far out! LOL
Jim

[jim_taddeo]

LOL....It's cool. I'm going to experiment with addiction to learning, addiction to positive motivation and social advancement. Intellectual exercises. Non personally or socially destructive use of the chemical mix I happen to have inside me. LOL If I can enjoy destructive shit and it makes dopamine in my head then I can also deliberately enjoy constructive things and make dopamine in my head. I think. I'm wondering if addicts are not more suited to human evolution than non-addicts and we haven't figured it out yet? LOL
Just an idea but worth checking out. I'll let you know how it goes. The pre-requisite is sobriety. Yes I'm nucking futs....soooooo what. LOL