Do you feel your disability, or family member with a disability is affecting your progresss? I'm finding myself still fighting the urge on a daily basis, whenever my son is pulling his "I have autism" behaviours. I feel I just want to go out back (where I know he won't follow me), and just light up. My old routine still creeps into into my head, and I find myself fighting the urge more than I actually spend dealing with the feelings I have with the autism. I'm still using thoughts of cigs to deal with feelings about disabilities than I do with the disability. Not that I wasn't smoking before my son was a twinkle in anyone's eye, but I have spent the last 20 years slowly using cigs as a way to escape the world of autism for even just a few minutes. But, I've recognized that behaviour in myself, and now I've got to start dealing with it. All these days of not smoking, and I feel like I'm still on day 4. Guess you could say I'm having a rough day with my son. Not trying to go, "feel sorry for me!", just needed to vent. My biggest thought to get me through these rough days is how much MONEY I've saved! I've changed my mind, and instead of treating myself to little things like pedicures and massages, I'm going to save up all the money and go on a vacation by myself! I'm going to have my folks keep my son (they're awesome with him), and I'm not going to feel guilty about spending a week or two on my own. Don't get me wrong. It's not my son I get frustrated with. It's autism, and the way it affects our daily lives. The stress has wreaked havoc on my own body, but it's getting better now that I"m not smoking! I love being an EX, and I intend on staying that way! Better health, and maybe some help dealing with my emotions about autism will make me a more relaxed and better mom 🙂 Thanks for listening!
Cindi
