How has the community helped you?

[CommunityAdmin]

Hello Everyone,

I can tell by how passionate many of you are that this community is important to you. But, many times it’s hard to translate that passion into convincing people to sign up for the community and to use it as a tool to quit smoking. We’re going to be adding some new information on the site that showcases the community. The goal is to bring more people to the community to benefit from all the wisdom here.

I thought that the best way to translate that passion was to get it straight from the source. I want to use your words to inspire people to visit the community. Please tell me how has this community helped you to quit smoking, stay quit, connect with others, pass the time… any and all comments are welcome!  Please, leave your comments, thoughts, and reasons in the comments.

Thanks,
Sean

[YoungAtHeart]

I didn't find this community until four days after I had quit, but I am completely convinced I would not have been successful without the information from and support of its members.  I read the Allen Carr book linked for me in the early days as a crave buster - and really understoood for the first time what was going on in my mind and body as I put distance between myself and the addiction (I don't believe you are EVER over it completely).

I logged on with my coffee every morning in the early days of my quit  to change up the coffee/cigarette association, and still come here first thing most mornings in case someone needs help or to encourage others.  We share things here so that we don't need the cigarette crutch to get over bad news or a tough day.  When I needed help during an especially bad set of craves, I blogged for HELP and almost immediately it was provided by a member and his phone number.  He talked me down as I was starting to feel like the craves were NEVER going to end.  (of course they DID!!) 

I will be quit for three years on July 4 - I bet there will be fireworks to celebrate!!!

Nancy

[Giulia]

As a 9 year quitter I stay connected to the  BEX  community because it enables me to offer support, and through that giving, I receive support back.  That two-way support street is, for me, a necessary and happy tool for quit maintenance.  The beauty of this site is that the community offers unconditional love and experiential wisdom from people all over the world from all walks of life.  These people have "been there, done that" and know the pitfalls, the excuses and the how to's.  They also know the how "not to's."  Venting is allowed and a necessary part of the quitting process.  And often it can be a quit saver.  People LISTEN here.  Through the collateral kindness (thank you Tommy for the word) of once-upon-a-time strangers, we have moved on to become friends and family.  A family that teaches, learns, nourishes and protects fellow quitters going through the rite of passage to freedom from this addiction.  I am firmly convinced that it is due to support that I was finally able to quit and stay quit.  This community offers, truth, positive thinking, education, inspiration, hope, facts, hugs and teaches perseverance, personal accountability, and commitment.  And other than THAT - it's a super group of NICE PEOPLE!

[Breakinchains]

I didn't find Ex until about 8 months after I quit. I was looking for a support group and boy did I find it. I was able to quit on my own, but staying quit required interaction with others who were going through the process. For me, the education about quitting is the most important asset of the community. It is amazing what a person can learn just by reading the blogs a few minutes a day. There are people here who have saved my quit many times over, by arming me with information/education concerning addiction. . 

[candylance]

I quit with EX, following all the suggestions, doing the readings, setting my quit date, and admitting to myself that I'm an ADDICT!! I have COPD, and my doctor told me that I HAD to quit smoking. I've been successful and relapsed but I've been here since 2010, and the same people greet me each time I come back w/o shaming or embarrassing me. It's hard to admit you've failed when you want so much to succeed!! This time I have 13 days and a new person on Parkinson's medication. My hopes are HIGH, and I can touch the sky!! This will be my FOREVER QUIT!! Thank you to the EX Community and people like Nancy and Giulia for not giving up on me. Like Breakinthechains said, the support and interaction with others, who become your friends, keeps you going............one day at a time!!!

[ninepatch]

1) KNOWLEDGE

2) STEP BY STEP INSTRUCTIONS

3) INCOURAGEMENT

4) PRAISE

5) HONESTY - REALITY

6) CAMARADERIE

7) UNDERSTANDING

😎 SOUNDING BOARD

9) REACHING OUT TO HELP OTHERS

10) HEALING

Great Plan and great group of people...........I owe my life to these folks.

Becky

[Storm.3.1.14]

I was a "secret smoker". I went to great lengths to hide my smoking from family, friends, and coworkers. That also meant that I had to hide my quit attempts from every person who would have been supportive, had they known I smoked in the first place. But, I smoked in secret, I quit in secret, I failed in secret...and that cycle was getting me nowhere. Coming to EX allowed me to talk about my addiction and my quit, and to take responsibility, openly. That was such a relief to lay my burdens down in front of an experienced community that knew where I was coming from, and knew where I could go. I was openly encouraged to read and learn and share, and to support and be supported...to participate and engage! I needed to step out of "the closet" and take active ownership of my addiction and my quit, and openly pledge my accountability for my choices. I needed to give up the secrecy to try community as a way to stop smoking...and it worked!

[Jennifer-Quit]

This site offered me education and support that I so desperately needed in order to be a successful quitter.  I was so very happy to find such an active site - one where people checked in daily and offered advise and support to anyone needing it.  I am so very thankful for all my new friends here at BecomeAnEX - and I know that I can count on them 24-7 to offer me help and support if I need it.

[Strudel]

When I came here I wasn't sure it was even possible for someone who smoked for 40 years to quit. Even my doctor was skeptical when I told him that I planned to quit. However, I came here and met wonderful folks who had smoked for just as long and who had found success at quitting! I used that to find my own way to freedom! The support has been incredible!  I feel so wonderful and so free, that I feel compelled to stay here to pass on that message of freedom! 

[newlife5]

this place gave me a place to cry,whine,find strength,encouragement and guidance.

i wouldnot been able to continue with my quit without the support and friendshipn i found here.

after smoking for 43 years it took me 3 years to be able to feel free from the gripps of nicotine relapse after relapse i needed the guidance and support of this community...I an so grateful.... thank you becomeanex...thank you

[froguelady]

I had tried so many times to quit and always relasped after a few days or a few weeks, six weeks being the longest quit. I believe without EX site and the insight into the nicotine addiction I learned here I would still be smoking. I am not here as much as I would like to be but log in almost everyday even if it is just to read a few blogs.  I think staying in touch with this support site has helped me to have a lasting quit of just over 4 years after 54 years of smoking.  This site has help many peope quit myself included and for that I am so very thankful.

[Sootie]

I had quit for two months when I found EX----BUT....I was hanging on to my quit by a thread and definitely would have smoked if I had not found this site. It was great to find normal people-----not doctors, not experts......but regular people who had quit/were quitting just like me.

The BEST thing I learned at EX is NOT to "romance" smoking. It's a disgusting, smelly, dangerous addiction. 

The BEST thing I found at EX was wonderful friends who will be friends for a lifetime.......lifetimes that now are so much more full of life than of smoke.

[djmurray]

I rediscovered EX on my first full day of this quit because I remembered that I had gone to a quit site the previous March when I started a quit that lasted about 4 hours.  What I remembered was that I got a lovely response to my post almost immediately,  I probably got more, but I never came back at that time to find out.  Because I remembered the warmth of that response I came back.  And I've stayed every single day since January 1, 2015.  What's important to me about this site, aside from the fact that I have made many wonderful friends here, I understand that as an addict I will always have a part of me that tries to convince me that smoking is enjoyable and valuable.  Even though I have read the Alan Carr book and it totally changed the way I feel about smoking, if I was only listening to my own thoughts and rationalizations I believe I would have forgotten the education and yielded.  But every single day I come here to reinforce my quit by hearing other wise voices that drown out that addict voice in my brain.  And by offering to support to others I am voicing what I know to be true -- that smoking has no value at all, and quitting just means accepting that you will have discomfort NOTbecause you quit, but because you smoked. 

[Barbara145]

I tried to quit as long as I smoked, 52 years. I quit 20 months ago with this site and NRT's. I know the support and education here are the reason I will never smoke again.  

[freeneasy]

I did no prepartion for my quit . I quit in between surgerys to help with healing. I found another site 1st which was really good too That site had a "quitting 101" course and would send a daily email.

I found the excommuity about a week after I quit, and immediately "felt the love" and came here every day. I was out of work because of my surgery and would come here for hours every day many times into the wee small hours of the morning. I would mainly "lurk" around. Finally, after almost two months, a member messaged  and suggested that I write a blog to introduce myself and get a "quit clock" . I did and soon felt really at home, made quite a few friends and that was "all she wrote". If I had to go out t during the day, the first thing I did when I came home was to check in here.

I have to give all the credit for staying quit to this community. After close to 900 days, I'm still here nearly every day.  Nothing ruins your smoking like BecomeAnEX!

[Thomas3.20.2010]

BecomeanEX offers a refreshing perspective recognizing that Smoking Cessation is an entire Lifestyle Change not an event!

I came here in desperation having been diagnosed with COPD/Ephysema. I knew I had to quit - for LIFE! Well, there's a gloom and doom treatment if I ever heard of one! I thought of deprivation, self sacrifice and constant misery over what I can't have!

But low and behold! From the very first day I was greeted with an entirely new perspective! BecomeanEXers are FUN! They laugh, play, cry, gripe, feel in ways I'd forgotten how! That was my light bulb moment when I knew that I just had to have what they have!

Each step of the way from those first days of withdrawal to the long term maintenance (I'm now well past my 5 Year Anniversary) I learned more about Smoking Cessation and Recovery. I receive totally nonjudgmental support again and again just for the asking! 

There is such a variety of people using a variety of Communication all in their own unique ways to guide and educate quitters on the process of FREEDOM from Addiction! I never cease to learn and I always feel the LOVE from total strangers who have one simple thing in common - the desire to LIVE and to respect LIFE smoke FREE!

[moira.sloan]

I have tried so many times and failed. I beat myself up everything I go back. I am at the desperate stage now,any advice, help and support will be greatly appreciated.

[linda.mustafa]

Hi there,

I was a roughly a month into my quit last year and somehow while searching up on the Internet I found this site and never looked back.

I was welcomed immidiately , continually received support during early days, especially when asking for help or advice.

The members here are very friendly and understanding , and everybody tries to help if necessary .

It is a website that helps me stay in control and focused, and a place where I will always be encouraged .

[godschild619]

I have tried to quit and failed many times also , it helps me to have the support of people who understand what it is like to quit smoking . 

[John10forteen]

I'm 249 days free. It was the little things said by caring people that helped me through the first fearful week,

It was the wisdom and knowledge of the elders with experience who take the time to blog about and share with me, "facts" that helped me understand, i was not bad or weak, it it the nature of addiction and with knowledge and acceptance, I overcame.

And then there's the Genuine Outpouring of Positive inspirational, philisophical, humorous and very real daily blogs from very real people that suffered or are suffering from this addiction and many of thier stories paralled mine which helped me so much.

I'm a non smoker that credits this community (absolutely) for my current success,...... And it feels soooooo..... GOOD! Thank you all!

[SkyGirl]

For me, the most important thing about our community was connecting with other people who could completely understand what I went through at all the various stages of quitting.  Knowing that I was not the only person who endlessly paced around her home like a caged animal on Day 3, while waging a mental war with myself was absolutely wonderful.  Knowing that I could come to EX and blog about anything that I was feeling and experiencing--and that I would get responses that commiserated, advised, encouraged, even admonished me sometimes (um, love ya, Giulia!) was what kept me on my Quit path.  Quitting cigarettes is something that each of us must ultimately do on our own, but EX has provided us all with this community so that we don't have to do it ALONE.  Tomorrow, I will have 1,000 days of freedom from nicotine.  I couldn't have done it without the community here at EX.

[Nyima_1.6.13]

It's the people....no question! They helped me believe I could get it done! That was 902 days ago and I still drop by to read and keep in touch!

[buzzlikebee]

EX planted the seed...coupled with the fact that CVS, which has a convenient location across the street from my house and right around the corner from my job, kept a fresh pack of marlboros within moments....STOPPED carrying tobacco products.

First, I switched to roll ups....too much work then, I switched to ecigs, then finally a leap of faith with the patch on a random day when I realized CVS wouldnt be able to supply my fix....that was 12 months ago and its been awesome.   EX, though I dont log in often, has helped in a weird way.  I still see the emails and it helps keep me motivated.  Somedays, its a struggle, but I deal and move on, its not worth the trouble.

I keep away from people in my crew that still smoke.  When we're at the bar and they go out, I stay in...a few have stayed with me, and I think its having a shamification effect on the crew that still lights up.

I'm proud of my 365, because I didnt think I'd be here...here's to another

[12Finally34]

I attended my smoking cessation clinic today and the doctor(s) wanted to know what worked for me.  I told told them the support I received from the Ex community site helped me to keep my sobriety date.  My head doctor wants to believe that the Wellbutrin and Chantix played a major part.  I kept my disagreement to myself and brought it here to discuss.  I have read the blogs on Chantix and mental illness.

I believe the support from the Ex community site and the nicotine meetings gave me the strength to stay quit a day at a time.  I am no longer using the Chantix and the craving have not increased.  How did the site help me.  It was support around the clock through blogging, reading and meditating on the words and messages.  Alan Carr's book really helped me to reprogram how I looked at my nicotine addiction and how to replace it with new information.  Carr message about following directions made an impression on how I dealt with my withdrawals.

The nicotine meetings reinforced what Alan Carr believes and help me to get in contact with a divine plan that allows me to think, feel and act proactive toward my quitting.  For example, I wanted 45 years of smoking to be cured overnight.  By attending the meetings and being with other ex smokers, I have learned to be patient with my progress and stop fighting the process.  Also, at the meetings, I am able to share my experience with someone who just started. I have added the cards from Ex... as another tools for the beginner. 

It was Thomas who got me to stop before my quit date of 7/25.  I was beating around the bush, coming up with excuse after excuse and stalling the process.  Thomas asked a question that pushed all the excuses and stalling aside and i decided to quit 4 days before my quit day.  Everyday I pledge to quit by not taking the first puff no matter what comes along.  I have had one heated confrontation, used the word "no" with family members without remorse and regret. When i see and feel myself slacking off, I remind myself that I am a newcomer and the disease wants me to become lazy and complacent rather than alert and informed.  

[elvan]

12Finally34  Beautifully said and I could not agree more with you that the site and the support you are getting here and from meetings are the biggest contributors to your success.  Your participation is wonderful and of great value to ALL of us, no matter where we are in our quits, first day, first year, tenth year.  Thank you, my friend.

Ellen

[12Finally34]

Hi Ellen,

Checking in!  This weekend cravings and triggers were pushed a side with nervousness, anger, fear and projecting.  My deceased son's daughter is spending two weeks with me and I am having all types of emotions.

First, I am angry and pleased at the mother.  She does her best and sometimes I have to remind myself I was a single parent also.

Secondly, I am wondering what do big business put in the  processed food and if HPV shots really help these kids. My granddaughter is 12 and  is bordering obesity.  She informed me that the doctor wants her to watch her carbs.  This was a great ice breaker and another way to do something together.  

I am teaching her to read labels (fat, protein, carbohydrates, sugar and sodium).  She is only 12 so I have to watch my reactions when she is not following my explicit directions.  I am learning that i expect too much from my love ones and it is coming from a place of shame.  

I am noticing a pattern in these few days and have to help my granddaughter to eat balance meals instead of skipping and then cramming later.  

Thirdly, she was 2 when she lost her father and I am having anxiety about talking about my own child to his child.  That is where the disease tells me to light up and relax before I say anything.  I push pass that thought and pick something from the 101 list. 

Finally, I avoid tv, any type of news but  today I glance and went into post traumatic stress mode with panic attack about what took place in Virginia, I had to say the Serenity Prayer over and over.

I am rambling and I apologize; however, this disease is very smart and insidious.  I am still refusing to take the first puff.  

I wanted to end my evening with hope and belief that my HP got this and I should just turn all my negative thoughts over to him because I cannot handle it.

Carolyn

25 and still counting

[elvan]

Oh honey, I am so sorry that you lost your son when his daughter was so young.  I am sure she wants to hear about him and I hope that you are able to share some of the similarities between them with her.  I would consider getting her to move more with weight, my granddaughter was also borderline obese at age 12, she is 19 now and the absolute picture of a person in shape...she works out and watches her diet.  She did it on her own.  She got tired of comments she heard from classmates and boys.  Now, she is amazing. If I could keep up with her, I could learn a LOT.  

I am sorry that this has been such a trying time for you but please remember that smoking really would not change anything...it is the addiction telling you that it would.  It took me a long time to realize that smoking did nothing FOR me but boy oh boy did it do lots TO me.  I am off this morning to get pulmonary function testing and then see my pulmonologist.  The last time I was tested was over two years ago and I had 20% function in one lung and 40% in the other.  I was HORRIFIED.  Since then, I have had both of my upper lobes removed because of emphysema, I have really stepped up working out, and I watch what I eat so that it is healthier than it was in the past.  I am reminded constantly of what I lost to smoking and for WHAT???

Hang in there, it WILL get easier, it is a one day at a time...one experience at a time.  As you add up those experiences, you realize how strong you are and how much you are growing.  I really am so proud of you.

Ellen