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DOCmarkC
Member

I want you to stop trying to quit.

I want you to stop trying to quit.

Yes, I said that. Even more, I mean it.

I browse around here and see post after post from people saying that they are "trying Chantix" or giving the gum a "try". Some are "Trying to quit" for the sixth or seventh time. Others are quite positive. "I tried to quit many times before, but this time I'm going to try something different."

Any of you who have played a sport with a coach can tell you that the coach NEVER said to you: "OK, I want you to go out there and "Try" to win. Give it a good "Try."If they did, then it was for a pickup game or T-ball or something that was more about playing than winning. At a job interview, you never tell your prospective employer that you are going to "Try" to be on time and be a good employee. You don't "Try" to keep your kids fed.

This addiction you are breaking isn't a game. "Trying" is what you do when failure is an option. As Yoda put it! "Try not!¦. DO!... or do not. There is no try."

When you quit an addiction you do just that. You QUIT it. It means that you put it down and you don't pick it up again. I see many posts about backtracking or slipping up. Invariably the replies are encouraging rhetoric like "It's OK, everyone makes mistakes. Pick yourself up and try again" (That "Try" word again).

Now I understand moments of weakness, and I believe in getting back on the horse, but think about a relapse and about having a smoke again! It isn't as if you tripped over a slipper in the hallway and fell mouth-first on an errant cigarette that had been left on the floor next to the fireplace where an ember jumped out and set the smoke alight while the dog jumped up and down on your back forcing you to inhale.

You made a decision that the cigarette was going to fix this intangible stress. Years of conditioning had made that feeling almost subconscious, but it was with a purpose that you got out the smoke and lit it. That was giving up. That was starting the quit counter back to zero. You may have gone a day, a week, a month. But guess what? that no longer matters. Now you have to do it all over again. Was that worth it? After that one smoke were you forever better? I say what you do by "Slipping up" is strap yourself into the rollercoaster again. The nicotine is back in the system and your body is going to scream at you to keep it there. When it was gone your brain still had conditioning telling you that smoking made you happy, but it was a lie you could ignore. Now that lie is compounded with physical withdrawals again. Was that better?

I quit almost a year ago. It was the hardest damn thing I have ever done. I was an Army paratrooper! An infantry medic in one of the most combat deployed units in the military. All of my training, survival testing, and combat was nothing compared to the will it takes to just not put the cigarette in my mouth.

But I'm not "Trying" to quit.

23 Replies
DOCmarkC
Member

I don't want it to be thought that I think anyone quitting who slips up is a failure... Just the action of slipping up is. One cannot accidently smoke and nobody is drug into lighting up. Trust me, I "Tried" to quit scores of times. I just failed at it until I quit trying and made the mental decision that having "Just one" was NOT going to help me in any way.
melissa2
Member

I agree on all counts! Trying to and quiting is not a joke as I watched my mother die of lung cancer after trying several times and not succeeding and never getting to see her grandchildren.
And if you slip it is more of a failure to the person that slips than to anyone else as they are the ones who will beat themselves up the worst.
I just personally thought the analogy was perfect as when I do here people say they slipped, that is usually the case of what they say.."Not sure how it happened, I just slipped!" yeah right.
claudia2
Member

I was telling Peggy today that I felt that many did not realize that it was for real an addiction to nicotine...some just come here thinking they have to give up a bad habit............so wrong. I just posted something I found cause I told Peggy I would look on nicotine nicotine and just found it and posted it in Candid Quitters if anyone want to go there and look.
Thanks doc....great post.
0 Kudos
Charmed
Member

Wonderful blog
Very true----I think when people use the word "try" it's like having a safety net.
You're either a smoker or a non-smoker, there is no grey area here
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grace3
Member

Great post, good stuff that needs to be heard...
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hwc
Member

"It isn’t as if you tripped over a slipper in the hallway and fell mouth-first on an errant cigarette that had been left on the floor next to the fireplace where an ember jumped out and set the smoke alight while the dog jumped up and down on your back forcing you to inhale."

That's what happened to me. For 38 years. Honest. Can you imagine?
deb
Member

What a GREAT Post...direct and to the point, no BS!!
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sheila17
Member

Another great read, love them all, keep the Honesty coming everyone's way. We need it.
Great Post.
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DOCmarkC
Member

Wow...  I was pretty militant!

I was just re-reading my older posts now that my wife has decided to quit.  I haven't changed my mind at all and I know anyone can still do this as long as they realize that the cigarette does nothing for them but prolong the need to smoke them.

Check this out:

http://www.majc.com/smoking.html

My daughter...  My youngest baby was the straw that broke the smoking camel's back.  My wife has QUIT!

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I noticed this blog is from 2009 ?  It is more than excellent! Right on the money! I will no doubt refer back to it? Are you still around? Thank you. I needed that.