Haven't had a smoke since last night around 10pm. I'm not experiencing any of the bad cravings yet but my damn brain keeps telling me and telling me to GO OUTSIDE AND SMOKE and I really don't want to. It's not listening to me though! What a buttheaded traitor of a brain I have. Boo brain. 😛
Seriously- I keep having flashes of pictures that show me getting up, walking to the sliding door, sliding it open, stepping outside into the cool morning air, closing the door but not all the way so I can still hear the kidlets and rush back in if one of them starts having a spaz or something, and just lighting up and I am going to go crazy ALREADY. It's been 10, almost 11 hours. I've slept for half of those. And I'm going to lose my damn mind.
I guess what I'm afraid of is gaining weight because I'll probably end up replacing schnackolas with ciggies. And I just had a bebe 10 weeks ago yo and um yeah I still look like I'm at the end of the first trimester and I really don't NEED any schnackolas so damn. Bahhhhh.
I just hope the lovericious quits with me. Or at least goes all the way outside to smoke. He'll stand at thee door and smoke next to thee open door and smoke that way and I just don't want to be tempted.
OK i'm being a basket case with this wanting to step outside so I am going to go read some blogs of people who have made it a long time mkayy.
Peace.
