If you guys can do it I can do it too! I keep telling myself that why do I keep allowing this friendship to go on? I know I have to be committed but that's a lot easier typed than done. I have zero excuses but I know I need help. I need to get to the root of this thing once and for all to understand why it keep easing its way back in. I despise the very thought of it yet it continues to plague me. God had taken the desire and the taste away yet I still feed into its negativity. Please don't beat me up trust me I've done enough of that to myself. My breakup letter was sincere speaking purely from my heart and today I slipped. I went to prayer last night and opened up about how much I hate it and how dirty and lifeless I feel with them. They HAVE TO GO! As I compare life with them and life without them. I definitely felt better without. I see people around me that don't smoke and think to myself that they are very blessed not to be controlled by such addiction. I used to envy them until I thought "I'm just as much human as they are I can do it too NO excuses. It stinks and it taste like tar I don't want to live like that! This time I'm going to better prepare myself but I won't give up no matter how many tries it take I genuinely thank you guys here on ex for your blogs comments and support I know now that I have all I need to quit and stay quit but it has to start with ME.
