Good afternoon everyone, I wish I could say it is a good afternoon yesterday I have become so depressed and now I have bi-polar and many other mental illnesses but right now I am definitely in a bi-polar depression. I am feeling like the term comfortably numb as you would say. I can't get out of it. I am avoiding everyone and I feel like I don't care about anything or anyone, as almost as if I just exist and lost all sense of reality and I just exist. Still feel like that today. And just seen my counselor on Monday and was feeling OK. Now I'm glad I see her once a week but I feel like I need to see her now. Or give her a call. And I also have been having a lot of dreams only in the morning as I am on a nightmare pill for my PTSD and sleeping pill in which I don't dream at all. But I'm being waking up from dreams of smoking and having cravings when i get up, and this morning I had a dream about my fiancee that passed away that he came back to me as if he was gone on a long vacation, but I was happen but awoken breathing hard and looked next to me and all around the room and he wasn't there, so I became very sad. More so my cravings are really bad! But have not picked up a cigarette. Feeling very very down.
