I received the email telling me my mom has completed her life.
I feel numb, I don't want to talk to anyone, my first thought was to come here, I can just write, I don't have to explain it or have anyone look at me.
I know she lived a long life, 92 yrs, I know she isn't suffereing anymore, I know she could possibly be with all the people she loved now, people will tell me she is in a better place, she is my gardian angel, she is in heaven with God, she is with Jesus, she is in the spirit world, I don't know if I missed any thing of the usual things that people say. I realize that what can anybody say really.
I just don't feel like hearing it, she was my mom, she was a person I loved, I did expect this.
I just don't want to be reminded that it was expected.
I don't want to be reminded that she was old.
Or sick.
I know all this.
I just want my mom, I want to be hugged, I want someone to say I understand and it will be alright.
That isn't gong to happen, I am alone here with my young sons, they are doing what they can. I appreicate them, I understand that they are doing their best for me. I really love them.
I think that there are a lot you out there that will get this, I don't want excuses as to why she had to die, I know it all.
I want it to be ok, I want to feel ok. I am tired of mourning, and crying. I will for a sometime again, I will wear black and feel sad, It will pass and life goes on.
Thank you all for the support that has been shown to me, you are the best people here, I love the fact that even those that don't know me are so supportive, everyone is ready to just say we are here and that is one of the greatest gifts for me right now, to know that I have this support. I have close friends and I do skype with them or email with them, but it is different, I can't explain it, I guess it is because I can be free here to express my true feelings, and I thank all of you
