Eleven months today…happy anniversary?
I wish I could say that today has been amazing, it SHOULD have been but we moved into the apartment last night and I have fought tooth and nail against this move because I do not believe family living in the same space is healthy. I didn’t expect it to become apparent so quickly. First thing when I arrived and I had to use the bathroom, the litter box, which is next to the toilet, was overflowing with feces and clumps of urine. I asked my son where they empty the box and he said it was just done yesterday…I said that apparently it had been used a lot since then and I did not mind cleaning it, I just wanted to know where I was supposed to put the waste. We used flushable litter but I did not think this looked like the same stuff. He told me that they were having a problem with ants but that the Raid was under the sink and he had only seen them in the kitchen. He had hooked up the cable box for the TV but had not activated it; I was too tired to care although I do have a tendency to go to sleep with the TV on. I was so tired that I probably could have slept IN the litter box. We got NO help with the move, not even an OFFER of help. We lived in that motel for a month and accumulated a significant amount of stuff in addition to the things that my husband has been trying to “save.” We left the motel at 11:55PM and got to the apartment shortly thereafter. We made numerous trips. My son kept asking where we were and I reminded him that there were TWO DISABLED SENIOR CITIZENS moving alone so it was taking a lot more time than we hoped. I got up this morning and there were, literally hundreds, of ants on the floor in my ROOM. I am NOT a fan of any sort of crawling things…ESPECIALLY in my ROOM. There was no food in here. Although it used to be his fiancée’s son’s room so who knows what HAD been in here, they had it cleaned. The floors are tile so it’s easy to see the ants…well; it was before I sprayed them and then swept their bodies away. I called to activate the cable and it took well over an hour. The person I spoke to had to keep repeating because I could not understand him. He kept saying, “Thank you for the waiting.” He was very nice but he had a really hard time getting the thing to work. It was grueling but finally complete. I sent a text to my son and told him that it was hooked up, that it had taken the guy over an hour, he texted back that if I had waited, it would have taken him ten minutes. I did not respond. A while later, I told him that I could not connect to wifi and asked if I needed to get a different router since our apartment is in the basement and perhaps cannot connect to the router upstairs. He responded that he was sick and tired of my “passive aggressive” attitude and that he had disrupted his entire family to make room for us there and that I was ungrateful and wallowing in my self-pity, that HE loved the cats as much as I did and that I should be GRATEFUL to be out of that house and able to start over. He said I broke my rib because I did not ask for help even though everyone kept telling me NOT to go to the house. I went to the house with my daughter and granddaughter and I FELL in the backyard, I was not IN the house. He said that people have been generous and kind and I have not acknowledged that. He whined that he and his fiancée cannot afford Christmas gifts because they took two weeks off to help with the house. They were there for TWO DAYS. Even I went back to work after the first week and I only took that week off because the school was closed. They both got sick and had one excuse after another not to work but none of them were related to the fire. Oh, I should say that he told me to go “F” myself. Needless to say, I am furious. I did not want to be here in the first place, I have NEVER in my entire life been passive aggressive toward anyone. I AM grieving; you don’t like it…get away from me. Do NOT use the fire as an excuse for your laziness when it comes to work. I am DONE. I will give him some cash for Christmas but I do not want him down here, I do not want his fiancée down here, I do not want anything to do with either one of them if they are going to pretend THEY are victims in this. We rented THEIR apartment and now their rent is significantly lower, I do not want to be here, I refuse to sign the lease. My husband can do whatever he wants. With any luck, and I am DUE some luck, I will get out of this place when the insurance claim is settled. I am not feeling much Christmas spirit. I “almost” feel sorry for him when his sisters hear what happened because they BOTH know I did not want to be here and that I was BULLIED into moving into this apartment. I should have stood up and said NO…you made your bed, you lie in it. I am NOT bailing you out. I would seriously like to completely cut him out of my life…there are many reasons other than today. He has put this family through the wringer for ten years. His time is up. Yes, I have eleven months and yes, I am really happy about that, I am struggling with this anger and grief combined but I am not going to smoke over it, unless you count the smoke coming out of my ears.
I swear that if it wasn’t for EX and my loving students and coworkers and the community I live in…that I could NEVER HAVE gotten even this far. I want the furniture that was donated moved into here…apparently his future mother in law and fiancée don’t. I read the lease and it says if we get a pet, she gets a $200 deposit. I told my husband to have that removed if he signs it…like I said, I am not signing…call it aggressive, there is nothing passive about it. Let’s see, my house burned down on my 10 month anniversary, I lost any respect I had for my son on my 11 month anniversary, watch out, my 12 month is coming January 19th, Any meteors headed this way?
I love you all, thanks for listening once again!
Ellen
