Man, this day has just felt harder and harder. This sadness has crept in and it is staying put. This is the time when normally my reflex is to light up and sit in the corner, hiding, smoking, pretending like the sadness will go away on its own or never existed. I know that when I let go of using cigs big feelings emerge. I know that they each will pass. I know I have an opportunity to understand them, welcome them and learn. But I just don't feel like learning right now! And I miss my old friend, Mr. Cig.
I am home and will not go out tonight to buy any but I am missing them BADLY right now. I'm embarrased to share that but it's the truth. For now. 6.75 days feels precious but very shaky which is why I wanted to share here. I want to fight for my life - my breath - my nicotine freedom. Thanks for reading this/sharing with me.
