Hello all, it's been a while since I have posted. Today was day 141 of freedom, The adjustment to my counselor as I last had reported is going pretty good. Depression still is there more than not. But I haven't even enhaled one puff. Nor have I wanted one, I am still unfortunately living with my father and I haven't heard anything from my Lawyer nor Disabillity Determination Services.
The other night my brother called us and my parents told me to take it the whole thing. I think it may be getting to a point to where they're seeing how much disappointment after disappointment is starting to take a toll on my very existance. My energy. Today i pretty much slept most of it, I can't remember if I mentioned it but my psychiatrist increased my anti-depressant. i'm not having to take my emergency meds as much, lately I've been listening to spotify.
I got to talk to my brother for around 5 minutes. I told him that I missed him, i wished I could be there for him. It's just really hard having things be like this. anyways i guess I haven't been on much because im kind of in a depressed state lately. I'm working on getting back into the ways of life. Me and my therapist are going to start working on my separation anxiety from my mom. Which if course i can't stop thinking about and is kinda stressing me out. I've been putting myself out there more (being open to a relationship more) which is a big step for me. I've finally got to a point where I am ready for a relationship. I've made it 141 days. I'm also part of a few groups on facebook that are for smokers. It makes me really thankful for this network because it is so disorganized lol. And over here everything is much better. I do apologize for my extended absence. I've gotten to a point to where I can't even imagine picking tobacco back up. The smell makes me oh so sick. Like im pretty sure my body wouldn't be able to stand a cigarette...i don't want to find out. Ever. Abstinance is the best way to beat addiction! I've missed all of you and even when im not on here remember that I have you all in my heart and mind!
Zackie 141DOF
