Hello to all my family. I've been here, but I've not been very active.
Struggled for quite a while with emotional stuff....grieving sister's death. That has gotten better. Had a good cry a couple of weeks ago and it helped release some of the big stuff.....there will be more, but I don't feel the "lostness" that I did a few weeks ago.
Secondly, I've had major pain with fibromyalgia flare up, back pain and (ahem) infection. There were a few days when I couldn't get up and move due to the pain and the ALWAYS TIRED. What I became was the woman who felt like I was 90 years old, permanently disabled and constantly depressed. That is NOT who I am. I am an active, working, funny, caring young (at heart) lady!
Here's what I found interesting and what I want to share with all of you, especially those who aren't as far along in your quit. The urges and craves got really big and really heavy. there were some days I thought that I should smoke because.....because I hurt and I would feel better, because I wanted comfort and release, because I wanted to, because.....well, just because.
Thanks to God and my family and friends here......I got through it. I knew I wanted Freedom more than smoking, but questioned that more than I have for a long time. I made the pledge to stay free EACH DAY even if I didn't know if I would want to go back on it later. I knew if I promised I would stick to it. I knew that I made a commitment to greet each of those in the Winners Circle (the EXcellent EXamples) as they came through the 6% Club Door, I couldn't do that if I smoked.
I made it.
I will struggle again, I will remember that I struggled before and I will know that I have people who love me and encourage me.
So, Smorgy is not going anywhere!
I want to host a party celebrating the 3rd Quarter 2013 Winners Circle and to do that I HAVE TO be smoke free!
Sharon 418 DOF!!!!
