I've been examining my thought processes around smoking. Again.
Reading Allen Carr's book has really made some changes to how I think about smoking. It isn't that he has brought up any brand new insights...it really IS a very simple book...but his main point, that one must remain POSITIVE about the decision to stop smoking is finally sinking in to my brain. Deeply.
I haven't been extremely conscious about cutting back on smoking. Not while I'm here on vacation. I'm out of my comfort zone, the places where I usually smoke, so maybe that's part of it. But about two weeks ago, my smoking had crept up to a pack a day (the last 10 years, it's been only about half a pack) and I couldn't figure out WHY I was having the desire to smoke more often.
I think it was because my quit date was approaching, and I was stuck in the deprivation mindset.
I was so WORRIED about having to give them up. And you know what they say about worry...
Reading Carr's book helped, I'm sure, but really being here and reading blogs and profiles and following links has done more for my mindset than anything he put into writing. Since I have been here, my cigarette consumption has gradually decreased every day. Tracking those cigarettes has been wonderful not only because I have seen what my triggers are and have planned how to deal with them...but I've gotten to watch that number of cigarettes a day fall every day. I'm down to the equivilant of 5 cigarettes a day (usually about 8 times "stepping out" as a euphemistically refer to smoking, but most times I'm only smoking half before I realize I don't really want it).
And here's the kicker...it's been EASY.
I guess that's proof positive that I'm ready. I know from past quits that the first 30 days can be hellish or just a bit tricky, overall. I had a quit with accupuncture once that just whacked me upside the head. I was in tears, or close to it, for 24 hours. Was it the accupuncture? NO! It was the realization that I had just spent $200 for a miracle cure that wasn't going to work because I wasn't truly COMMITTED to staying quit. I expected the accupuncture to cure my thinking. But the only way to do that is to take the reigns of your own thinking in hand, and guide your brain where you want it to go.
The possibilities are endless...
My most recent quit wasn't very hard, if I'm being completely honest...not in the first 30 days, anyway. Sure there were urges to smoke, that were triggered by familiar circumstances or people or stressful situations...but every day my husband would come home from work and expect to find me a quivering mass of tears and stress in the corner, but I was carrying on with things. My moods were even fairly predictable. The ease with which I went through that first 30 days, then 3 months, then 4 months, was what got me back into trouble, though. I thought I had it licked...had figured out the secret. I got overconfident.
I can't believe I fell for it, but I did. The "just one" trap. I even maintained that illusion for another couple of months...smoking one here with friends, one a week later, two at a party, another one four days later at a derby bout...until I was right back to where I was before. And felt SO stupid and exhausted by those two months of dragging it out, that my confidence was shot.
So...if you're new, and you're having thoughts of how HARD this is going to be...you're probably right. If you THINK it will be hard, it's pretty much guaranteed to be.
But if you can nudge your brain, just a little every day, in the direction of FREEDOM FROM NICOTINE, and away from "How will I never smoke a cigarette again...boo hoo...poor me..." it WILL be easier than you've ever imagined it could be.
Remember. Your brain is your own. What comes out of it is a direct result of what you put into it.
Feed it good stuff. The results might surprise you.
xo~mlb
