I think I have made it pretty clear that I have some smokers in my life that are very close and very dear to me. It does make it more difficult to resist especially when your habits in maintaining an intimate relationship so often are intertwined with smoking. Your daily relaxation and time to connect occurr over a cigarette more often than not. Many smoking cessation plans advocate avoiding the smokers in your life for awhile, but what does one do if their entire support system is comprised of smokers? Do you ditch your entire support system for several weeks? Personally, I wrestled with the idea of shutting these people out for a couple of weeks, explaining gently my reasons for doing so and I am still convinced they would have understood. Still, it wasn't practical for my life. Instead of separating completely, I discovered it made more sense just to change the way I interact with them. As someone commented on my last blog,"Make it harder for them to smoke around you." In this way, you maintain control over your environment and still give your loved ones a chance to interact with you so long as it is sensitive to your needs. I don't insist that abstinence is a prerequisit to hanging out with me either, that would be too controlling. What I do instead is suggest a different activity than normal. Smoking was part of my sedentary lifestyle that I want to leave behind so instead of telling dorkmate he can't smoke, I invite him to come with me exploring some trails near my house. It's active which isn't as conducive to smoking and it's far away from any of my usual smoking hangout spots. Suppose he stopped along the trail for a smoke? He wouldn't do that because he knows what I am doing and is supportive, but what if he did? In my experience, the change of scenerary alone does a lot to help me to resist the urge to slip up and there is always the option of speeding up, down the trail until he's finished at which point we can walk together again.
