So I've been reading yet another quit smoking book. They really help me to stay focused!
Anyway, I was reading about how many people smoke as an emotional coping response. I've been trying to be more mindful of when I feel stronger urges to smoke to try to pinpoint what is occurring in my external and internal environments. I believe that many of us during the years of smoking became like Pavlov's dog; we have a certain emotional feeling and we reach for a cigarette (both positive and negative).
I'm now into my 32 day and I know that I am not having any physical response to smoke. The nicotine has left my body. I'm not having withdrawls and any craving I may have is in my mind though it can feel like a physical compulsion because of what is happening in my brain.
I want to share a part from the book:
"...you smoke to avoid conflict and negative emotions. For you, smoking is a form of social and emotional withdrawl. Your biggest challenge is to get comfortable in your own skin without smoking. It is probably difficult for you to picture a time when being smoke-free will feel "normal." That's because smoking weakens your capacity to experience emotions; you rely on it to cope with, and cover over, negative feelings."
The author continues with a specific example of a patient who began to change her responses to dealing with emotions.
"Once she cut off the habitual respons, she began to discover more satisfying and empowering ways to cope when she became angry. Pretty soon she started to enjoy her new ability to choose a response and not passively fall into the same old trap. For emotionally dependent smokers, the solution is to develop emotional confidence, so they can disconnect the automatic smoking response from the trigger of emotional discomfort. Developing one's emotional capacity is like exercising a muscle: the more you use it, the stronger it becomes."
That last part is so important so I'm going to repeat it. DEVELOPING ONE'S EMOTIONAL CAPACITY IS LIKE EXERCISING A MUSCLE: THE MORE YOU USE IT, THE STRONGER IT BECOMES.
This really struck a chord in me. I'm thankful that my desire to smoke is less and less but at times I really consider having one. This is the opportunity to use that new muscle! I will only get to a more peaceful place by making through the tough times right now. If I revert back to my old behavior, then I am not changing and the old me smoked to get by in life. The new me is fighting for a new way of living and that takes work. I don't want to slip, relapse or go back to smoking so thinking about weak moments as opportunities is really important for me.
If you slip then you've just fed the monster. If you face that craving, insert a new coping mechanism, interupt the destructive thoughts, etc you are fighting the beast. You are gaining confidence and experience in self care. I think actions like these repeated over and over is the only way I can fully recover from this addiction.
When you have thoughts that you need a cigarette to get through a situation or that you aren't strong enough to make it, remember that thinking is part of this disease and you are so much more than those destructive thoughts. We have to relearn to become more conscious to use that awareness as a tool. Our impulses will not vanish over night. Wanting a cigarette will not hurt you. We have all kinds of thoughts and feelings that aren't harmful unless we manifest them into action. I know that we can make it through the feeling by letting it pass and once we experience many successful outcomes like that, I believe we will feel more comfortable in our own skins. We will be our own champions.
I invite you to stretch your imagination of your strength and capabilities. We can do this!
