Honesty is definitely the best policy so hiding how we feel and what may be going on with us is not generally a good thing to do. So I'm surfing around the community of Ex's here and I see some fairly LONG term quits expressing craves coming on, which is OK, but more troublesome in my view is that I see terminology that EMBRACES those craves with CRAZY idea's like "Man, it sure would have been nice" and "I wanted one yesterday" and "I want one right now" and the like! Horse-poop is what that is!
WHAT?
Now I'm not going to even pretend that I put gloves on in the first place. I'm going to deal out some harsh love BECAUSE I REALLY DO CARE! I don't believe the BULLSHIT that we have to CRAVE for the rest of our lives! THAT'S JUNKIE THINKING! THAT IS AN ADDICT MAKING LONG TERM PLANS TO CAVE IN DOWN THE ROAD! HOW LONG WILL YOUR SUPERIOR WILL POWER AND PRIDE CARRY YOU? 1 YEAR? 5 YEARS? 15 YEARS? BEFORE YOU GET TIRED AND GIVE IN TO THE ADDICTION? We will always be ADDICTS and predisposed through chemistry to FALL BACK INTO THAT SHIT but that DOES NOT MEAN WE ARE SUFFERING BY NOT USING! NO IT CERTAINLY DOES NOT!
WE PERCEIVE SUFFERING SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE WE AS HUMANS DESIRE COMFORT AND "GOOD" THINGS!
Unfortunately for us, with our chemical predisposition, this life as a human is more discomfort than comfort. BUT THAT IS A BELIEF AND A PERCEPTION AND IN MOST CASES WRONG! What is so damned discomforting about our lives? Do we have trouble surviving? Are we being shot at on a daily basis? When was the last time you were hungry for two days? Have you had unavoidable frostbite this year? I could go on but I think my point is clear there. It is the simple way things are. SOME PEOPLE REALLY ARE EXPERIENCING THESE AND WORSE! The PROVERBIAL HUMAN CONDITION! GET USED TO IT! EMBRACE IT! LEARN TO DERIVE ENJOYMENT FROM SIMPLE THINGS 101 TIMES A DAY. HELL START WITH JUST 5 OR 10! TRAIN YOURSELF TO DO IT! IT WILL FIRE DOPAMINE IN YOUR GOURD AND HELP BUILD PATHS THAT YOU CAN TURN TO SO YOU CRAVE FRESH AIR FOR COMFORT! SO YOU CRAVE ICE WATER OR WHATEVER THE HELL ELSE MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD! THE F*&KING CIGARETTE NEVER DID AND NEVER WILL! The little desires TO KILL YOURSELF for comfort will die away and be replaced by the JOY of the breeze across your face. By the simple knowledge that you are alive. By the memories of TRULY GREAT things that have happened and the fact that you are here to remember them! By a simple drink of cold refreshing water, the purr of your cat, the smile of a child, a deep breath of AIR!
QUIT BEING SO DAMNED SELFISH AND ACTUALLY APPRECIATE WHAT YOU DO HAVE! IT IS A LOT! BELIEVE IT! SHAME ON YOU IF YOU DO NOT!
I don't want smoke dope or get drunk or use anything at all, OR SMOKE A F*&KING CIGARETTE when a tire on the truck is flat, or I find out my friend died, or the wrong man got elected, or my wife and I had a fight, and on and on and on and on. What the F*&K is that all about? I'll tell you what it is. It is the 1001 metaphorical reasons you ever smoked in the first place! Welcome to relearning YOUR LIFE. The next person that comes up to me and say's "I'm going to cave in and smoke" I am going to take them down to the store and BUY THEM THEIR FIRST PACK! I'M GOING TO GET THEM SOME CAMEL NON-FILTERED DEATH DELIVERY DEVICES and a lighter and then, after stepping back away, I'm going to say, actually holler, "DO IT".........."Kill yourself right there!" Because that is what you are saying. That is what I'm hearing you want to do TO YOURSELF. Well who the hell am I to stop you? Actually I cannot stop you! YOU HAVE TO KEEP WORKING TO MAKE THINGS BETTER! There is NO REASON for those thoughts to come up in your mind and if they are arising then you HAVE MORE WORK TO DO ON YOURSELF! You don't completely understand your addiction and yourself and YOU ARE IN IMMINENT DANGER OF RELAPSE! I don't want to see that happen BUT I CANNOT STOP IT!
But I must ask this! What did you ever do that made you deserve to SUFFER A SLOW AND DEBILITATING DEATH through long term suffering? Is there some dark secret or a bunch of them hiding down inside? Got some skeletons hiding in the closet do we? DON'T LIE TO YOURSELF.......ADDICT! Addicts don't lie to themselves do they? What makes you want to kill yourself slowly? That is what smoking is FOR REAL! SYSTEMATIC SUICIDE! So what is there? Answer that to yourself and fix it. GET RID OF YOUR BAGGAGE! Life is way to damned short to keep treading on carrying that shit with you.
I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT ANYONE HAS TO DEAL WITH CRAVING SMOKING, OR ANYTHING ELSE FOR THAT MATTER, FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIFE! BECAUSE I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT AND CONSCIOUSLY WORK ON IT EVERY DAY I DO NOT CRAVE ANY USE OF DRUGS AT ALL! I STILL FEEL BAD, MAD, SAD, FRUSTRATED, INADEQUATE, SLIGHTED, BELITTLED, FORGOTTEN, USED, ABUSED, UNDERPAID, OVERWORKED, AND ON AND ON AND ON! MOST OF THE TIME IT IS COMPLETE HORSE-SHIT ON MY PART AND I NEED TO LOOK AT MY SELFISH AND CHILDISH NEEDS AND EMOTIONAL IMMATURITY AND FIX THAT WHICH I ALLOW TO KILL ME IF I CHOOSE TO ALLOW IT!
That is how I see it and that is how I am dealing with it. I am not craving anything but to make MORE out of myself than ever I EVER DARED TO DREAM before. I am concerned by some of the comments I see and some of the behavior I observe here and outside of here. I'm not falling for it! I'm not playing into it! I'm NOT RELAPSING INTO SLOW PAINFUL DEATH! FOR ANYONE OR ANYTHING! PERIOD!
I'm Papa Jimmy and I have successfully quit smoking cigarettes, Seven months, three days, 4 hours, 0 minutes and 25 seconds. 4343 cigarettes not smoked, saving $966.39. With Life saved: 2 weeks, 1 day, 1 hour, 55 minutes
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