I started week 4 with a nasty head cold today - grateful to be experiencing a cold as a non-smoker for the first time in over 35 years. It's amazing - for years I have blamed my constant cough and sore throat on fall (spring, winter, dog, mold, fill-in-the-blank) allergies and post nasal drip (that a doctor happened to mention to me years ago as a possible diagnosis). I now see that it was all lies - lies that I told myself in the depth of my addiction so that I didn't have to admit that I could not control my smoking. I did not even realize how much better I felt in the last 3 weeks until I got this cold. I obviously do not have allergies because I have not had a sore throat or a cough in 3 weeks (well the cough did not completely go away until 2 weeks ago). I do not have post nasal drip. What I do have is the realization that I have been given a 2nd chance in life - I do not have to live the rest of my life lying to myself to cover up an addiction. Thank you to everyone here for helping me to realize that!
I reached for cigarettes twice today - not because I wanted one but because of the habit. I was a little surprised. I do still think about smoking and sometimes romanticize about that "good"one. But I try to confront those thoughts and work them through (as my husband says - play the movie until the end). Today, I tried to find a phantom cigarette pack to put in my purse as I was leaving for work and I reached for a phantom pack when I left work. Neither incident bothered me - did not provoke a craving. I just found them curious - has anyone else experienced this?
