Humans have a complicated relationship with change. While change is both essential and inevitable, change can also feel uncomfortable. It can be quite easy to fall into that feeling of being trapped. This happens when your sense of self struggles to move on from those past identities and embrace the new self. Likewise, when stopping using tobacco, it can be difficult to no longer see yourself as a tobacco user, or to make progress to your new identity as a non-tobacco user.
Here are some tips to help you move forward:
Make a Clear Break with the Past
Even if we understand that our situation has changed, it can be difficult to allow change to really sink in. Try to think of something that can serve as a symbolic representation of your moving on from being a tobacco user to that of a non-tobacco user. Acts like writing a goodbye letter to tobacco, discarding that last pack of cigarettes/tin of chew/ vape, making that special purchase, or going on that long-awaited vacation can provide that clear message to you that a new journey has begun.
Write a Story that Links the Past and Present Together
Do not forget your life as a tobacco user; but create a new narrative that describes how life will be better, “Stopping tobacco was not only a good decision for my health; but also, for that of my family. My spouse and my children are happier. I am taking better care of myself, and someday I hope to enjoy playing with my grandkids.”
Identify and Work Through Challenging Emotions
Part of what makes change difficult is that often your emotions get trapped in the past. Even if you have decided to make the change, your feelings can linger, and then you become “stuck.” So instead of getting caught up in the thought, “If I just smoke (or chew or vape), I will feel better,” try moving forward by acknowledging the thought and then identify a new one. A new thought might be, “Now when I feel like this, my plan is to take a few slow, deep breaths and count to ten. This will make me feel better.”
Do not Be Afraid to Fantasize
Daydream about how your life will improve being a non-tobacco user. Think about having the energy to go for a long walk in the evening or begin to plan what you will do with the money you save from not buying tobacco. Visualization can be an especially valuable tool when trying to make changes because if you can see it, you can believe it.
Change can be difficult, but it is possible. The best way to increase your chance of success, and avoid getting stuck, is to acknowledge and embrace your current identity, your past self, and everything in between. When we acknowledge and accept, we can then begin to see the future. And that is when success will happen.
Heather Kraling-Coons, MA
NDC Counselor/CTTS
Photo by DICSON
