I was born and raised in Utah. Yes, I was raised a Mormon. I always felt different from the rest of the family because I'm next to the youngest of 5 siblings. My little sister was the baby so she got lots of attention. I remember feeling left out and not a part of very early in life. I found out at age 11 that I had a severe tyroid problem and I gained alot of weight. My skin got so dry in places that it was cracking. I remember having to wear socks to bed to keep the sauve on. I was teased alot by the kids, but the worst thing I remember was the rejection. So I became a loner at a very early age. In my Freshman year of high school, my dad sent me to a private school to get me away from the mean kids. I lost 70 pounds that year. Then I decided to go to public high school. After becoming "skinny" I was treated different. But I still felt like that little fat girl and didn't know which group I belonged in. I found the easiest group to be in was the "stoners." I started out getting drunk and I loved it. For the first time in my life, I didn't care what others thought of me when I was drunk. Then I started smoking pot. Soon after that it was psycadelics and I was steering towards heroin because it was popular. Instead I went into a drug rehab program in Seattle. This was after I moved to Washington because of my Dad's work. Also, I had started smoking cigarettes when I was 15. I stayed in rehab for over 2 years. It was long-term treatment, not 28-day spin dry. I tried "social drinking" once back in '76, but that didn't work. My addict wanted MORE! I helped start Narcotics Anonymous in the area I live now and it's still going strong. In the 32 years I've been clean, I've been married and divorced twice, my mother died, my cousin died, I lost jobs, my kids went away to live with their dad, and I went into such a bad depression 8 years ago that I went to the psych ward so I wouldn't hurt myself. Then in 2004, I quit smoking. Life does go on. Right now I'm going through a real bad financial hardship. But two things that NO ONE can take away from me is my clean date and the day I quit smoking. I know not to be selfish and share my experience, strength and hope with others as it was so freely given to me.
