I am so afraid that I will fail, I'm the one that does not understand why a drug addict or an alcoholic can't just stop . I don't know because I have never been there. I was outside grilling today grabbed a butt from the ashtray the kids use snuck into the gradge like it was against the law ! I don't know how to break this cycle, I feel so ashamed of my self yet I still do it .I'm 57 and have been stealing cigarettes from my kids ,friends and ashtrays if I need to .I do want to stop ! Seem when ever I talk to my doctor it's the same thing. Patch, pill,vapor all this just wants me to sneak and hide like I was 10 again. I was 8 days without a smoke and today I cheated myself.
