Hi, Everyone! It's been almost two weeks since I last found time to sit down and spend some time here on EX. Time goes by so quickly, doesn't it? It really seems like the older I get, the faster the world spins! I've flown every single day since 9/13! Only two nights in my own bed in Reston, VA. And NONE at home in Oregon with My Beloved. I will finally have two days off in a row on October 3-4. A whole 48 hours!
Anyway...I missed my own 4 year anniversary!. I can't believe it! I'd been thinking about it earlier in September but then promptly let the big day pass without a single thought of it.
I suppose that is good, in a way. I mean, we quit smoking so that cigarettes won't control our thoughts and actions anymore, right? So that we can live healthier, happier lives without a nicotine addiction, true? It's the desire of every single EXer to jettison tobacco and never worry again about when our next cigarette will be, isn't that so?
If those statements are true, then I guess the fact that tobacco occupies my thoughts so little that I would let this big anniversary pass right by me without a thought, really does mean that I've achieved complete freedom! Yay, me!!
But I never forget that, with one small thinking error, I can become completely addicted all over again. The brain remembers nicotine. You can jumpstart your addiction all over again with just one puff.
How do I know, without a doubt, that this is true? Because I did it to myself. Here's a quick synopsis of my story:
I smoked from age 15 to age 30. I had always said I wouldn't smoke as a grown-up. At age 30, married with four children, I deduced that I must be a grown-up now. So I quit, with the help of a hospital-sponsored program called "Smoke Stoppers". It was considered a "bad habit" back then, not an addiction. It was hard but I did it.
I did not smoke a single cigarette for TWENTY-THREE YEARS. Yes, I said 23 years,
Eight years ago, my smoking sister came to visit me. One night, as we sat on the patio, drinking wine (first red flag), I asked my sister for one puff of her cigarette "to see if I still liked it" (second red flag). Surprise, surprise, I DID like that puff. So I borrowed a whole cigarette (nail in the coffin of my 23-year Quit).
From that day on, I began smoking a pack a day. 23 years down the drain. Pfffft! Gone in a puff of smoke. Literally.
Thank goodness that I only smoked again for four years before I came to my senses and found EX. Randomly browsing with no concrete quitting goal in mind, I came across this wonderful site that has saved me from nicotine addiction. Well, actually, I saved myself with all the information and loving support I found here.
And, here I am now. Four years smoke-free. Never again will I forget the power of nicotine and that an addiction can be rekindled with one puff. I will always stay vigilant. No cigarette will ever touch my lips for the rest of my life!
xxxooo, Sky. (P.S. Thank you for all the LOVELY anniversary wishes on my message board!!!)
