Share your quitting journey
This will be just a short, whining note.
I'm pretty strong....(not physically but emotionally) but last night I lost it. I had done some cleaning during the day with the help of my niece (bless her!) but something happened last night and I just lost it.
Didn't want to be around anyone, resentful that even though I didn't want to eat I had promised to make tacos for my son and his friend. She has eaten here 3 times in 2 weeks and I didn't want it yet again. That's not me......If I have food you are always welcome to eat.
Anyway, I broke down after she left and cried and cried. Told Jeff I felt scared, helpless and out of control.
This is part of the process, I get it......but I don't cry in front of anyone..........
I kept thinking "I just want to run away".....but to where and for what good?
Feeling better somewhat today and I'm going to church so know that will help.
Is this part of the chemo process or just being human?
Either way.....I don't like it.
So, today I will take care of myself and if need to cry will do it this afternoon when Jeff is at work.
I'm wearing my mask..........no more infections for me wearing me down.
Thanks for listening.
Sharon
(no urge to smoke......why would I make it worse......why would I give up my 1146 DOF!)
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