I had no idea it was my 100th day before I logged on, but what a beautiful number day to come back! Triple Digit Club!! I am sorry for my hiatus and thank you everyone for the nice comments on my last blog and message board. I have remained smoke free and am more clear-headed and healthier than ever. I have started exercising, eating better, and meditating, which is something I loved before but I haven't been able to do since I started smoking. I would try, but every time I would get interrupted by my nicodemon whispering sour nothings in my ear, or I wouldn't be able to breathe deeply so I'd just end up coughing or feeling light headed. Focus a wonderful gift focus is to give oneself. As a smoker, it wasn't even something I knew I was missing, but now that I have my clarity back, my control back, I would never think of returning to a place where my life revolved around a poison which took everything and added nothing.
It's been 8 months and 10 days since my initial quit day, so my life as a smoker seems pretty distant to me now. I forget to tell myself how amazing it is that I quit something that I struggled with for so long, something that a lot of people struggle even going a day without. But here I am, almost at a year without buying a pack, and am still going strong. I am finally able to take care of myself like I've needed to so badly. Thinking back to the before time, my bliss surrounding cigarettes lay only in the one moment of lighting up, and the first few drags. After that, I was either thinking about smoking, not having enough, feeling sick, feeling shame because I knew I deserved better, but feeling like I couldn't stop. Now, I have the ability to draw to me that blissful feeling without a wake of disgust. And I can make it last for 15 minutes at a time. And guess how much it costs? Nothing! It's free. I can honestly say with 100% certainty that there is nothing I miss about smoking.
Other updates: Because I have saved so much from not smoking, I was able to buy a new (to me) car and I love it! She is a covertible and will never smell like smoke! Also, my cats are growing so fast, and now at the stage that I like to call "cattens" because they still are playful like kittens but are getting so big. I will try to include a picture in the comments.
