Finally, I'm starting to feel better! When I woke up this morning I felt rested. Rested! I haven't felt that in, well....six days! I'm very happy with my Quit, and continue to embrace each new experience as an EX. I'm amazed at how quickly I broke some habits. Morning coffee, no problem. Commute to and from work? No trouble there, either. If the thought of smoking comes up during those times, it's a memory only. I'm quick to remind myself that I don't smoke and it's over. Considering that 40% of my daily cigarette intake was done before 9 am, that's pretty profound. If only my whole quit was that way! My trouble spots: work and home in the evenings. Work is more of a nuisance, and I think it's a behavioral recall like Pavlov's Dogs. In time, I know this will fade, but for now, it's still with me. Home in the evenings....wow. That's where it's tough. I had no idea that the demon would pick that as my danger zone. I fight it from the minute I get home until I go to bed. The earliest I've gone to bed this week is 7:01 pm, the latest is 7:47. I'll do whatever I have to do to escape that demon. Thanks to my Fitbit, I know how much (or little, as it were) I'm sleeping. I blogged earlier in the week that my sleep pattern is wrecked...that still holds true (although I slept a blissful 7 hours 49 minutes last night). Remember the old saying "sleep is for the weak"? I'm not weak. Never have been. But I am vulnerable at night. Really vulnerable. Thankfully, I knew going into my Quit that I'd have to eradicate all smoking paraphernalia from the house. No ashtrays, no lighters, no safety-net packs for me. I know several EXers who had to have cigarettes available in order to succeed. I'm telling you, if I'd tried that approach, I would have failed on Day 2. It'll be months and months before I can allow a smoker into my home between the hours of 5 pm and midnight. The minute they walk out to smoke, I'd be a goner and smoke with them. That's me being honest with myself and in turn, controlling my Quit. I'm blogging this so that I recognize my weak spots and work through them, but I'm also making a point. I've had a great Quit. Things that should have been tough (morning coffee and my commute..and a beer with friends?!?) weren't, and things that shouldn't be hard are terrible. I'd love insight on this if anyone has opinions. Evenings were my lighter smoking period of the day.....between 5 and 10 pm I smoked an average of 3 times. That's it. Compare that to mornings when I'm having my coffee and mentally planning my work day ...easily 3X as many smokes during that period, and I gave that up without any problems. I'm recognizing the evening challenges because the other triggers are fading. Is the evening that bad, or are the others just resolved, making the evening cravings stand out? That's pretty heavy, even for a quiet morning and second cup of coffee. I studied the wrong things in college....too bad I'm not a psychologist. I've been able to ditch the gum already (didn't want to trade a crutch for a crutch), but I can't get a handle on being a non-smoker in the evening. Go figure. That's my Saturday story. Saturday!! My first non-smoking Saturday (there goes another high five!). I had some lovely responses to yesterday's blogs, and I want to thank those of you who reached out. Some understood me, some didn't. Either way is OK, because you took the time to read my story, which in and of itself is a beautiful thing. I appreciate each and every one of you. Control your Quit! xx Susan
