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dharmagirl

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About Dharmagirl

dharmagirl

About Me:: I am in my 50's and until 3 years ago had quit for 11 years. Then, while my brother was dying of smoking-related cancer, I started again. Where is the logic in that? Now I am ready to quit again. I have gone back to school and am now a full-time student again for the first time in 30 years. Just completed my first year back. I am, by nature, a person of integrity, but smoking has made me a sneaky, dishonest person. I am a classic closet smoker, something I don't see addressed on this website. My husband doesn't know that I have been smoking. And right now, because of what is happening in his life, I am not going to tell him that I am going through this. So you, dear friends that I have never met, are my support group, and it is with you that I am sharing this journey. Because I was a contented non-smoker for so many years, I KNOW I can function and be happy without cigarettes. I know my triggers, I have my meds, I feel confident (most of the time). Sunday is my day. Thanks for being there.

Location:: New Mexico

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Wrap your mind around these ideas
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Started this discussion. Last reply by ManOfSteele May 12.

This post which I put on May Quit Days seems to be really helpful to people so I am moving it over to the main board. Having blown my April date, I am reset for May 5th. Here are some ideas I have ... Read More »

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dharmagirl added 2 new blog posts. View dharmagirl's blog posts Jun 8

Gabrielle left a comment for dharmagirl May 24

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dharmagirl started a discussion called Wrap your mind around these ideas May 3

dharmagirl replied to the discussion Smoking in the closet! May 3

dharmagirl replied to the discussion wrap your mind around these ideas! May 2

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19 hours

It has been a pretty good day. My problem in the past has been this: sometime into my quit, usually during the first day, it's as if something happens to me. There is a conflict between two parts of my mind. One part takes over with a decision to put this quitting business off until another time. One part resists this decision, but seems unable to be in control. It's as if the decision has already been made before any of this becomes conscious to me. Fairly quickly, the resistant part goes along…

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Posted by dharmagirl on June 8th, 2008 at 7:24pm — 1 Comment (Add)

Day 1

I just typed my first blod entry . . . and lost it. So I'm trying again. It's only been nine hours since my last smoke, and eight of them asleep. I'm wearing a patch. I have tried to quit this time over and over, sometimes with NRT aids, and sometimes without. I think this is better. I'll be back later to report.

Posted by dharmagirl on June 8th, 2008 at 9:16am — 2 Comments (Add)

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At 7:09am on May 24th, 2008, Gabrielle said…: I am a secret smoker, too. I smoke only with a couple of friends, and I am so ashamed that I hide it from everyone else I know. It is my dirty little secret that I want to get rid of forever. I am so glad you have addressed closet smoking on this website. It makes me feel so much better to know that I'm not the only one who not only smokes but also sneaks around to do so. It's so sad, but today is the first day of the rest of my life without smoking, and I am going to go for it. Good luck to you, and wish me luck, too.

At 7:23am on May 21st, 2008, Wendy said…: When I was reading your comments, it was like looking in a mirror! I thought I was the only person in world who had been a closet smoker for 30 years! I would smoke, then wash my hands, spray perfume on me....you name it. I quit earlier this year for 3 months and then in a weakened stupid move, I started again!! I want to be an ex again. Wish me luck!

At 6:18am on May 15th, 2008, hazel said…: I wish you all success, I know exactly the feeling of being a secret smoker. It makes it harder to have friends and family be supportive when they do not know you smoke. I am gratified to see a websaite of closet smokers, It helps not to feel alone. Thank you

At 1:21pm on April 12th, 2008, Elizabeth said…: I will be sooo thinking of you tomorrow... You should be so proud of yourself! All of us here already are! This site has made all of the last 12 non-smoking days bearable. Please ass me as a friend and keep me poster! I'd love to help you along! ps: on my last day (03/31) I smoked way to much on purpose... might sound juvenile, but the grossed out feeling I had from it lasted over the first few crucial days. All the luck to you dharmagirl!!! I look forward of hearing of your success...
~ Elizabeth

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