How true it is...

Tell me about it!!! I have a picture of me at my wedding in my dress, hair all done up, flowers in one hand, cig in the other... gross!!!

Elizabeth....what part doesn't feel right? I'm curious as I'm dreading the withdrawal symptoms myself.

Paula...

Paula... Congratulations on quitting! I wasn't so much speaking of the physical symptoms as I was the whole re-learning and re-training of your brain. At least for me, I didn't realize how much of every minute of my life was consumed by smoking. When you stop, especially cold turkey like I did, it does a number on you. I felt sad, like I broke up with someone I loved (funny but accurate). I felt like I had nothing to turn to.

In hindsight, it was a wonder to behold, the whole re-programming of the brain.

Two important things to remember are that it's all in your mindset. Instead of dreading it, look forward with exhilaration like you are willing to go through whatever to end this addiction once and for all and you can't wait to begin.
Secondly, it doesn't last forever. I'm on day 40ish, and my quit is successful! I went out to a bar last weekend for the first time (in my city you can still smoke indoors). I even had a few drinks. I was fine! No more than a thought crossed my mind and it was just as easily dismissed!

What I'm trying to say here is there is nothing to be afraid of. Take advantage of this great online support group as there is nothing we don't understand here.

Also, in the first few days/week, sleep as much as possible. Drink tons of water/ green tea/ juice. Tons. The more you drink the quicker the nic will leave (unless you will be using a nic replacement system - not sure if this applies (?). Be sweet with yourself and when you are caught in a crave, feed your mind something else and fast - a walk, a chore, this site... anything to re-learn a life w/out smokes. It is done here every day. This is doable!!! Be strong! Protect your quit at all costs!!! Yay you!

Elizabeth thank you so much for this response. I will admit that it came in the 'nick of time' as I was staring at a cigarette sitting by the computer that my EX-Husband had left.
I hate living here with him but am doing so because he is an Ex NFL Veteran who I divorced after 28 years from repeated abuse and control and he has not sold the house that my parents put a downpayment on for, nor has he complied with anything else legally either. Now....I'm looking for a job to boot and my unemployment is about to run out in a month!
Oh...did I mention that he's been committing tax fraud by not signing the Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) as per the 3 year old divorce Order and giving me personal checks instead for the amount from his retirement? Yeah....so that he counts what he pays me by personal check, instead of the $303 monthly from the NFL (which I could get direct deposit monthly and have to pay taxes on....but he's been writing it off as 'alimony' to get a tax write off). Plus he's illegally been getting (illegally) a tax write off of $3,000 for it also. Which is not
relative to his retirement (I've done my homework!)...as that's meant for Military or Government employees who are getting full benefits, including insurance benefits).
So, he just came in raging in my face.
I'm so shaken that I'll admit, yes, :/ ....I just lit the cigarette. See? It's so stressful that my fight or flight kicked in. And...I was feeling so good about not smoking!! OMG...now I have to start all over again.
That cigarette did nothing to help me "solve my problems" but it was a knee jerk response to being screamed and threatened at. He's awful. Our kids are grown, but he's still bullying and controlling and we're tied to the house and divorce situation.
I didn't mean to get into all of that. But now it's out.
You seem to be a very intelligent woman so I have to tell you what I'm up against in My Quit.
I feel so mentally healthy when I am a NON-SMOKER (again)....then this type of thing comes along.

I needed to hear your encouragement that it gets better and easier with time and that the hardest part is a Mind-Thing...... It is! That's why I need support when I knee-jerk out of nerves reach for a cigarette. Like it's a 'friend' that's going to help me....HA!...it's awful stuff! I can't keep allowing my "Triggers" (like my EX Husband) ruin my health and self-esteem.

When I don't smoke....I feel more like 'ME'...if that makes sense?

Water does help. I happen to be one of those people who actually love water! So, that's a good thing.
I've smoked for 18 months and not "heavy" as in some days 6, some 10 and on the very worse a little bit more.
So....you can see, I'm not "enjoying" smoking at all. Living in the house with two heavy smokers is awful as my son and EX will not smoke outside, like I've asked them to. Makes it harder.

I'm looking for a job now but even though people tell me that I'm attractive, intelligent and have a great sense of humor...I feel scared because I was a Mom and a Wife and I'm trying to 'think outside of the box' on how to survive finacially.
All of my inheritance, from my parents, went into my family, when the EX was out of work. He's a User.

And....there ya go!..... How do I get back on TRACK? If you still think that it's still "do-able" for me to quit, under this circumstances, and still want to support me in this....I would be ever so grateful.

Good for YOU, by the way....that you've made it this far! And you were able to go out without picking up a cigarette. I want to get there (to 'ME') again, also.

Hope your not disappointed that I surcummed (sp?) when he was screaming at me. I'm hard enough on myself about it!
I'm eating a salad right now and drinking tons of water and a little caff. free Diet-Coke.
I tell myself how much I hate the taste of cigarettes. I go through brushing my teeth and Listerine like crazy to get rid of it!

So you think that it's OK to sleep a lot when stopping? Good to know. As I've been beating myself up about feeling so TIRED!..........And just wanting to sleep a lot. Thank you SO MUCH for this "You're OK, Paula" info!

This is a long message haha....but I needed to vent, so that you can decide whether I can DO THIS THING!!

My email address is lonestarbellepk@aol.com and my phone # is (803) 240-9305 (cell). Please feel free to call me or personally email me with anymore support and tips.

Paula