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About me

Hi! My Name is Leisha, a 34 year old wife and mother of two beautiful teenage daughters. I have smoked for 20+ years. I quit in 2005 for three years. Put on a patch and didn't pick one up for the entire three years. Best three years ever. However, one day, even with knowing better, I thought I could smoke just one. WRONG! That one turned into a pack a day habit all over again. With each pack I bought, I thought "this is the last pack". Bought patches, wore them for a day a or two, before lighting up again. Tried the gum, but basically used it to get through situations where I couldn't smoke, with no intentions of "really" quitting. I am what I would call a closet smoker. Have been since I picked the habit back up in 2008. I was ashamed of myself for picking the habit up, and wanted noone to know. Especially my children. I preach to them about the dangers of smoking and here I am hiding to smoke whenever they are not around. So ridiculous, but I know it's because I am an addict and I am trying to save them from this horrible addiction. My husband knows that I smoke, and he hates it, so I hide it from him too. He is not stupid, and can easily smell it on me, but hey what do I care? Gotta have the smokes over my family right? I would intentionally not go places with him, so I could stay at home and smoke until my heart was content.

This leads me to why I am here: I am tired of the nicotine controlling my life! I know how good it feels to quit! I have done it successfully. I will not be a hypocrite any longer. I want to be healthy again. When I was quit before, I worked out everyday and I will get back to that. I don't want to have scrub my hands constantly to wash away the smell of cigarettes. I don't want to have to spray with body spray because someone might smell it on me. I don't want to make up excuses to go to the store so I can have just one more. I don't want to avoid going places with my family so I can sit all alone and smoke. I don't want to be worried when my husband leans in for a kiss that he will fuss when he smells it on me. I don't want to be caught smoking by one of my childrens friends or one of my friends for that matter. I am just simply tired of the hiding, tired of this vicious cycle. Tired of being ashamed!

So, here I go again. Although, I am a serial quitter,..........the series ends here. Enough is enough. I stress myself trying to sneak around to kill myself with cigarettes. Its just ridiculous.

Went and bought a new pack of patches, because they were successful for me the first go around. Put one on 2 days ago and haven't looked back. There is no other choice for me. Because I have quit before, I know my triggers, and I will NOT allow my self to be suckered by the nicodemon again. I am beter than that!!!!

 

allen carr's easy way to stop smoking http://media.wix.com/ugd/74fa87_2010cc5496521431188f905b7234a829.pdf

 

 

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