It was 6 years ago, but I remember it quite vividly. I had made up my mind to stop smoking cigarettes, and I was genuinely excited to have such a unique quit date: 10/10/10. (I mean, c'mon...look at it!) So, I snubbed out the last butt, crumpled up the empty box, and just stopped...no NRT, no support, and no program. Just willpower and pride. I "slipped" on Day 4, with about 3 cigarettes. I was too hurt that I had disrespected such a once-in-a-lifetime quit date, so I kept the broken clock rolling. I forgave it as a "little false start" and tried to swallow down the regret and self-deception, but I knew I had warped it. I smoked again on "Day 6", with a whole pack...and hundreds more after that. I didn't attempt another quit until 11/11/11. Take a wild guess what I did with THAT one? And, with 12/12/12. For all that failure, I still happen to believe that a unique quit date can add a special sparkle to a new quit. But, I'm living proof it can't pull any actual weight. The heavy hauling comes from intensive study, honest work, and symbiotic support. Now, 3/1/14 means the world to me. The other reason I'm writing this is to illustrate how I showed up at EX with scars already, and with a half dozen bricks of regret on my shoulders. Can't the same be said of you? Of 98% of us here? Didn't we already show up as skilled relapsers? Weren't we already versed in how to cave in? So, what's the point of toting those same ol' regrets through yet another threshold?! Did we not show up here to - once and for all! - learn how to STOP repeating the mistakes that lead us here in the first place?! Isn't our purpose HERE to not end up back THERE?! We only expect you to not repeat your old mistakes again. Ever. From that baseline truth, we can help you live up to YOUR expectations for YOURSELF. You know, the ones you brought here. The ones you promised us you wanted to meet...and exceed. Live FORWARD! There's nothing behind you you don't already know.
