Alive, working on getting well

[elvan]

I am in New York State at my oldest daughter’s house.  I arrived here on Thursday after driving halfway and then picking up my youngest daughter in Harrisburg, PA to help with the remainder of the driving.  I drove those first few hours alone, absolutely terrified.  I am NOT an interstate driver, I am not a fan of crazy people tailgating and expecting me to pull over to let them by.  I am more than happy to do so when it is possible but there is not much I can do when there is traffic that I cannot get by.  This notion that getting behind someone and flashing your lights to make them move over is obnoxious and entirely uncalled for.  I realized as I was driving along that I was alternating between saying the Lord’s Prayer out loud and the Serenity Prayer…then I would resort to calling the other drivers names…not NICE names but also not names that made any sense.  I was in terrible pain but I refused to take any medication because I had to drive and stay alert.  I kept changing out my ice packs to keep the pain at bay and I arrived in Harrisburg a little after 5:00 to meet my daughter’s train which was scheduled to arrive at 10:00PM.  I wanted to be able to just relax and wait for her to arrive.  I had to park my car in a parking garage and go back and forth repeatedly to get things that I forgot.  It was SO HOT and humid, I was pretty proud of myself for being able to even get to the garage.  At 9:30, I decided to move my car over to the train station’s pick up area because the time was so short.  Just imagine my horror when I found out that they had LOCKED my car in the parking garage.  There was a phone number to call if you were locked out but it also said very clearly that the garage was open until 11:00PM.  I called the number and I could SEE my car but I could not get inside and even if I could, the metal gates were all closed.  The person who answered my call acted like I was being unreasonable but agreed to send someone down to open the gates so I could get my car.  My heart was pounding, this is not the best area for a little old lady to hang out but I tried to make myself look as big as I could, LOL.  I do not think one person who passed me was not smoking.  One guy asked me if I had a cigarette and I answered that I hadn’t had one of those in over two years.  He kept walking.  I only had to wait about 20 minutes to bail my car out of jail and move it over to the train station.  By that time, my phone rang and my daughter told me that the train was running late. Nooooooooooooooo.  There was a huge sign saying not to leave your car unattended but, of course, my bladder cannot read.  I locked the car and went inside the station where there was another sign saying that no one who was not a ticketed passenger could use the bathroom. Seriously?  I had been using it since I arrived at 5:00.  The Amtrak Police looked at me and must have thought I was too pathetic to enforce the rule.  I went back out to the car and waited for my daughter to arrive.  She was starving and thirsty, I had brought drinks and yogurt and snacks but she has a heartier appetite.  I told her I would get her anything she wanted if we could just get out of the city.  We arrived at our motel just before midnight and it smelled like an SPCA.  I guess that was better than smoke.  The room was clean and I was so tired that I didn’t care.  We stopped at a Sheetz and my daughter got some food and she showered and went to sleep.  I could not sleep, I felt like I was still driving and there was a crying baby in the room above us.  I also could not remember where I had put my pain medication and I did not want to go rummaging through things.  Suffice it to say that the trip HERE was an adventure.  The graduation party is tomorrow, I take my daughter to the airport on Monday afternoon, and I leave Tuesday morning for my drive back.  I am going to try to drive a little over five hours and I booked a different motel.  I want to get home.  This is the longest drive I have ever taken without smoking. Did I think of smoking…seriously, I did not.  I was so proud of myself for this incredibly independent journey and now I am ready to repeat it, I KNOW I can do it and I also know that I do not have to rush to get to a train station and try to find a place to park.  I suspect that once I get home, I will do some serious sleeping.  I hope to return to pulmonary rehab ASAP but without the arm bike set at such a high resistance.  Thanks for listening, please know that I am coming back as soon as I possibly can, I won’t tell you that I have been reading blogs because I have been trying so hard to keep my youngest entertained and my oldest from having a nervous breakdown.  Right now, I am going to go to bed, tomorrow’s party will be outside in 95 degree weather with oppressive humidity and air quality issues. 

I think of all of you more than I can say, I know I would never have been able to make this trip without all of the support I have gotten from each of you.

Love and hugs,

Ellen (888 days)