Hello everyone yesterday was my first experience with anger and stress didn't know what to do I felt like I couldn't go for a walk, paint or do anything because I was so mad!! So I slept for four hours! Woke up and finished my night off, my cravings are there not a lot but they are there. I'm feeling a little better than yesterday except for my cold symptoms, and depression has set in. I'm trying to keep FIGHTING I actually went for a five mile walk which I do most days but today was really hot almost ninety degrees! But my walks help, and I do go to counseling once a week to deal with my mental illnesses which I am not ashamed to say. And we talk about staying smoke free with all of my illnesses, it's hard it's real hard!! But I made it another day!! My vice was ALWAYS that evil cigarette when stressed or angry learning after my first encounter because there will be many more to deal with..have a great night my friends. I forgot to mention I've been spacing out a lot and not wanting to be around anyone..my boyfriend before my fiance passed away from liver and pancreatic cancer on July 3, 2013. So that time is coming around never mentioned him his name was Georgie and I completely lost my mind went crazy, I had to watch him during his sick days and his time to go home. I miss him so much and think of him every day always, he was a wonderful man like no other!! Our love was unconditional! No one can replace him ever...unlike my fiance in which not sure why he is that because our love is not very strong he can't be there for me emotionally and it angers me! And BELEIVE me I HAVE no plans on marrying this guy! It's sad but true, I met him in 2015 and I needed someone to help me through my loneliness and he was lonely to so we got together. I love him not sure why but not all the time and trust me I have a big heart! But needing more right now then someone just being there. Sorry for rambling on just wanted to keep writing for some reason, love you guys and have a great night
