Three years ago tonight I put out my last cigarette. On that night, I had no idea how much that decision would change my life! I didn't know it then, but what I had really decided to do was to stop believing the whiny little voice in my head saying 'I can't' about so many changes I needed to make in my life.
Putting out that last cigarette was just the beginning for me but the process of quitting taught me so many things!! It was time to start looking totally objectively at all of the lies, excuses and ridiculous perceptions that were floating around in my head. It was time to clear the brain clutter and quiet the voices that weren't leading me to positive outcomes and the happiness I knew was in me! It was time to stop looking outside and start changing what was inside. It was time to take full responsibility for all the negativity and unhappiness in my life and start making 'I can' happen.
Everyone here who remembers my quit, knows that I did more than a little whining, crying and complaining along the way!!! It took me a while but eventually I figured out the most important lessen of all (at least for me) and that was this........It is not asking for help that's hard! Yes, for independent spirits like me (aka 'stubborn), it can feel extremely difficult to ask for help but your ego will find ways to rationalize your need to ask (usually the way your ego does that is to have you not really listen to what you're told)... the truly difficult task is accepting the help and following through on what is offered! Depending on others to know the answers, really listening to what they have to say and trusting them to guide you through is tough to do but it works! Listen and do what is suggested and you will conquer this addiction!
The people who quit before you, particularly those who are steadfastly here to help, know what they are talking about! We all know who the 'regulars' are and I am forever grateful and appreciative of the time they give to guide people on this journey. I also wouldn't have made it without holding hands with some of the people that started their journey at the same time as me. Sometimes "misery likes company" and while shared misery probably never got a quit accomplished, it was comforting to know that I wasn't struggling alone! It was equally comforting to know that "happy quitters" existed and they gave me great hope when I was any thing but "happy"!!
The short and sweet of it...I am celebrating three years of freedom and I have an Ex family that I love, respect and care deeply about! With every breath I take, I thank you all from the bottom of my heart and the depth of my soul.......
Metta meditations still come your way daily
