So, I have a reallllllly stressful job (welfare caseworker) and I have this blog up on my desktop JUST in case I have a weak moment. I'd rather pull up this tab and write, then turn to my coworker and ask for a cigarette.
FIRST BIG TRIGGER: Confrontation with my boss. I went to her with known, hard policy on a case, and she refutes it, but doesn't have the policy to back up her opinion. So, I say to her "Ok, what do you WANT me to do? B/c honestly, you know I do not have the time to write up an entire hearing summary,only to have to re-write it."
"Relax! She says! You get so SHORT sometimes!" I told her I HAVE to be short with her... This is due tomorrow, and I don't have time. The REASON I dont' have time is because we had that special project last week, remember...the one where you said drop EVERYTHING and do this? So, yes, at this point, I'm short. I have to be.
Working for the state is being supervised by people who are not qualified to lead well, and don't even understand the job they are supervising. However, they were promoted b/c they are "YES" people, and will blindly follow directions from higher-ups. This is government work, and endlessly frustrating.
Sooooo anyway. I leave her office in tears. Like clockwork, 60 seconds go by, and that voice says "How about a smoke?" And I say "NO! That won't fix anything. It never did." I kick that beast in the throat. I know that was a powerful blow. The beast retreats in defeat.
I breathe in through my nose, out through my mouth, saying "Reeee--laxxxxx" with each breath. I clench and unclench my hands. Crack my neck. Ok. Got this.
End of break. End of rant.
Take that, beast. I have just gotten stronger 🙂
