Canada Day (July 1) is one of my favourite holidays and has been since I was a child. Some of my earliest memories are of my Dad setting off fireworks in our backyard to celebrate Canada's birthday. School would finally be out for the summer, I was allowed to stay up late and of course getting to have a sparkler at the end of the night was very exciting. All the kids on my street would come over and we'd all gasp with amazement as my Dad set off fireworks.
Yesterday I spent Canada Day with my family - as I usually do. My husband and I returned home to our tiny condo just as dusk was settling in and we watched the neighbourhood fireworks from our balcony. In recent years, we'd essentially chain-smoke as we watched the festivities - smoking and celebrating went hand-in-hand. We'd sit in our uncomfortable hand-me-down chairs on the balcony with a drink in hand (I generally don't drink - so this was quite the occasion!) and go through a half-pack of smokes. I remember rationalizing to myself that since we were sharing cigarettes, I wasn't smoking that much! Yeah, right!
Yesterday we stood on the balcony rather than sat and watched the fireworks. I gulped down a pint of water as we witnessed the sky light up in celebration of our country's birthday. Both of us were agitated - agreeing that we sure felt like a cigarette in the moment but that it wasn't an option.
I have read that it takes 2 years of going through the seasons/celebrations to really break the strong association between smoking and the various holidays/activities etc. We've been quit 58 days now so we're still newbies in the grand scheme of things.
But here's the thing... my best memories of Canada Day are of when I was a non-smoker. Yes, I was a child, BUT my best memories are of things that make any celebration great: the people, the food, the activities, the shared experience of celebrating. None of that has to do with smoking.
As I fumble towards my new non-smoker normal, I am aware that it's up to me to make new associations with all of the holidays, celebrations, disappointments, life issues etc. that are bound to cross my path over the next few years. Sure, I may feel like I want to smoke in those moments, but really, when it comes down to it, I don't want to. Ultimately, I don't want all the baggage that comes along with smoking, and I know that I would regret smoking if I made the choice to do so.
I know the 4th of July is upon us and there are many of you who will be celebrating your first Independence Day smoke-free. It may be difficult but you can do this. Making new memories or creating your own new normal takes work, but oh man, it is sure worth it! I felt proud of myself as I woke up this morning, knowing that I 'protected my quit' yesterday. A much greater feeling than any cigarette ever provided.
So Happy Canada Day to all my fellow Canucks and an early Happy 4th to my American friends! Here's to making new memories that focus on the important things in life!
