It's been more than a year since I've written. I'm a bit ashamed that I've not given back the way I intended to. My last year and a half has been quite the doozy so just the fact I've survived and haven't started smoking again is a big enough accomplishment. Although had I been staying connected during that time, maybe it could have helped. Either way, wanted to hop on today to let everyone know I am still quit, I can't believe I'm approaching 1000 days! 159 days away seems like a drop in the bucket when I compare it to where I've been.
I certainly hope that everyone here is doing well with their quits and if you aren't, just remember, we're addicts, we can no more have a single puff than an alcoholic can have a single drink. Keeping this in the forefront of my mind has allowed me to reamin strong rather than make me feel weak. Believing that I'm an addict - while not addicted to any drugs per say - is something I'd never done during a quit before. It's something I never allowed myself to believe I could possibly be. Addicts are bad people, they don't have will power, they aren't trying hard enough. These are all things I USED to think. Actually, I didn't just think them, I knew these things.
I simply wasn't an addict. I was never going to be okay with that label...until EX. It took reading the blogs of many people who had gone before me to realize, I in fact was an addict and if I was going to become a RECOVERING addict, this was the first hurdle I was going to have to overcome. I will tell you it wasn't easy and the change in thinking didn't come over night. Honestly, it likely wasn't even a fully conscious change. I fully believe I was only able to change for a few specific reasons:
1. I was READY to change.
2. I was OPEN to change.
Because I was ready and open to change, I was in a great position to take what I'd learned from my past quits and apply them here with an open mind and willingness to just "see what happens". I'm not a blogger but human nature says we love to share our stories so, it all works out. What I have learned from my peers here is invaluable...it's nothing I could have learned from a book, it's all about knowing that you're human and others are going through daily struggles just like you are. It's about knowing we can learn from each other.
I am thankful for each and every one of you, new or old, on the first quit or the fifteenth. Thank you for being a part of this community.
