Good morning EXer’s!
I hope all is well and that you are secure in your quits! You know, we’ve always had some stress in our lives. It’s just the way it is. Even before we started our addictions, we had stress. What does stress do to us? At times it can make us angry or feeling out of control. It can make us wish things were different or that the darn stress would just go away.
Generally, we take actions to control our stress like finding a way to avoid the situation that stresses us out. But what if it’s what we’re doing that’s stressing us out? I mean, quitting an addiction feels really stressful. There’s so much to do. So much to learn and always those nagging fears, telling us that it would be easier to just give in.
And then on top of that, a friend or loved one starts getting on our nerves. The first reaction is to think, “To hell with it! I’ll just smoke and then I’ll feel so much better. This stress is driving me nuts!”
It’s normal to avoid stressful situations. It’s human nature to want to be as calm and happy as we can be. This is why I think a lot of dealing with addiction is so hard. It goes against the grain of our very human nature to quit the thing that’s giving our brain pleasure, even if that thing is killing us!
Beating an addiction in a way is irrational to how we think because it adds additional stress to a life that we might already see as stressful. I think this is a big part of where the fear of quitting comes from. We feel that the cigarette actually helps us cope with life’s day to day stresses. That somehow it makes them more tolerable.
Another lie of an addicted mind trying to formulate a rational response to what we’re doing. You know, the destruction of our own future.
Thing is, we’re better than that. We can look rationally at what we’re doing and see through the lies of our own addictions. We can find a way to believe that yes, we can become free. We can beat this demon that we’ve helped to create inside of ourselves. We can decide to take our lives back and as for that additional stress? So what! It’s temporary and most of it will vanish as soon as we realize that we’re really going to do this! That it’s not some little thought in the back of the mind. No. It’s the number one thought that we will win!
That’s how I remember it and by God, I was strong until I realized that I was serious! Well, you know. The doubt crept in. The fear of not having that cigarette to calm my days. But still like all of us, I got past the fear and put that cigarette out, feeling a little insecure but all in all happy with my decision.
I remember that first day smoke free. I had to work with a smoker and ride in his car with him on a road trip, watching him smoke. I just didn’t want to ask him not to even though it might have benefitted him in the long run but I’d decided right on that first day that if I couldn’t stand to be around smokers and protect my quit, then I was in trouble. When we arrived at our job, the homeowner was already upset because of what the previous crews had done, and how long it had taken them to do their work. There was a bit of stress right there as we talked to him and got him calmed down enough to let us get started on our own work. The moment we were done dealing with this guy,, my partner went outside and lit up a cigarette. I realized that just the day before, that would’ve been me, out there lighting up.
Instead, I went to work and realized that though a moment ago was stressful, it wasn’t like before. You see, I’d made that commitment to myself and rather than let life’s little problems bother my quit, I stayed committed to myself and passed the first test that a smoker must pass. Disassociating stress from cigarettes.
Smoking doesn’t make the stress disappear. If anything, we have more stress when we smoke. Be very cautious. If cigarettes were a coping mechanism for you in the past than it must be dissociated from your stress. If this can be accomplished than one of our biggest triggers is overcome.
Just remember that it’s the addiction that makes you think smoking helps to deal with stress. It’s a lie that you don’t need. If you can get past that first hard lesson when dealing with stress than I think you’re well on your way!
Enjoy your day my friends!
ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!
