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Share your quitting journey

Feeling a little sorry for myself

elvan
Member
0 16 12

Last Friday, I picked up two cats that my husband and I adopted from the local SPCA.  One female and one male, both young adults.  The male is a blue/grey part Siamese with a voice that is like fingernails on a blackboard but he is adorable.  The female is an exquisite tabby with markings like I have never seen.  Both had to go directly to the vet’s office before we could pick them up so they could be neutered/spayed.  Turns out, the female had already BEEN spayed but the staff at the vet’s office said she had no scar and no tattoo, which is apparently a way of telling in some cases, so they did an exploratory and had “two doctors examining her”.  They said that they would still charge me for the surgery but that they would give me a “discount.”  I did not argue with them.  We picked the cats up on Friday morning and were immediately aware of the fact that she hated him.  He is a very lively little guy who wants to be friends with every four legged creature he can find, including my son’s dog.  He is just a silly little guy and I do mean little.  He is either younger than they thought or he is the smallest “adult” I have ever seen.  In any event, I paid very close attention to both of them to be sure that they were eating, drinking, and using the litter boxes.  I gave her her own because it was clear that she was not going to ever be comfortable near him.  I did not see her use it at all.  She slept with me on Friday night and on Saturday morning, I was covered with a heated throw and she laid down on my chest and PEE’D.  I was stunned because she did so laying down and then she left.  The throw is made of particularly soft microfleece and I thought that maybe the warmth and the softness relaxed her so much that she just lost control.  I called the vet’s office but we were in the middle of a snowstorm and they were closed.  I thought I would just monitor her carefully and see what happened.  My husband took her into his room which is around the corner and down the hall from mine.  It is filled with “stuff” that he is trying to save from the fire.  Stuff that he cannot let go of and that he is “working” on.  I thought we were going to have to move because the smell was pretty overwhelming and the landlady was not happy.  In any event, he had the cat from Saturday until Monday and she was very relaxed and happy.  I thought that perhaps she could not use the litter box because of discomfort but she did use it to have a bowel movement.  I made her come out of his room on Monday because I felt that she needed to interact with the other cat.  It was pretty disastrous, she just growled and smacked him and he just kept trying to entice her to play with him.  I STILL did not see her urinate in the box.  I went to bed on Monday night and realized that a different throw that I have on my bed had also been used as a litter box and my PILLOWS had that unmistakable smell of urine almost knocked me off my bed.  I knew then that we had a real problem.  I called the SPCA Tuesday morning and I specifically asked them if she was surrendered by an owner because of a problem with urinary incontinence. They assured me that was not the case and that she had always used the litter box at the shelter.  I called a different vet and told them what had happened and asked if they would see her.  My husband and son are both in love with this cat…not that she has not won my heart but I am the CLEANER.  I am the one impacted by the smell and the laundry.  Both of them have said they will “help”…help WHAT?  My husband cannot smell anything, for all I know, she used his entire room as a litter box, you can’t move around in there.  The vet kept her overnight and then called and spoke to my husband yesterday while I was at work and said she could be picked up late in the afternoon.  She had an infection “from the surgery.”  When we went to pick her up, they said she has to be on a special…VERY EXPENSIVE diet.  I asked why she would need this special diet if this was just an acute infection.  The vet did not want to speak to me and kept sending out her very uncomfortable office manager.  I told her that there is NO WAY that I can afford a 6 lb bag of cat food that costs close to $40 or tiny cans of moist food that cost close to $1.50.  I told them that I have no choice but to return her to the shelter because I cannot have her urinating on my bedding,  my rugs, my pillows…my son who already owes me a small fortune said he would help to pay for the food and my husband said he will help with the cleaning.  They are both delusional if they think I am going to believe that.  I cried all the way home from the vet, I have to call the shelter this morning and tell them that she will be coming back.  Someone will get a real deal if they adopt her because I have just spent close to $300 on her care.  Perhaps, once she heals, she will be alright in a one pet home, with her own space but I cannot take this on and I am being loaded with guilt from the “men” in my life.  I am very sad, I am not smoking over it but I sure am losing a lot of tears.  She has gone on the rug at the entryway this morning and is pacing, clearly looking for another place to go.  The vet’s office asked if I have a laundry room and I said yes but it is filled with clean laundry that is STORED in there. I guess I am writing to vent. This is going to be a very difficult day…taking her to the shelter, feeling like a monster, dealing with the fact that she may not be adoptable.  They are a no kill shelter but I am not sure that is doing her any favors.  

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About the Author
Retired RN, worked ICU/ER developed RA in early 90's, unable to work because of brittle bones from high dose steroids. Diagnosed with COPD 5 yrs ago but sure it was there and progressing long before. Live with severe chronic pain, degenerative disc disease, had both upper lobes of my lungs removed in 2015. Struggle with shortness of breath. Work in son's cafe as a cashier 2 days a week to be around people. I am a people/animal person. Lost my home and three cats in a fire on my ten month anniversary of quitting smoking. Never thought of smoking, knew it wouldn't help anything.