I really cannot believe that I have made it this far. But I must confess, I am really struggling this week....not sure how to explain it. I have not really thought about smoking -- I don't want one -- and I am not going to smoke one -- but I am still having a hard time dealing with emotions and feelings. I am having a hard time learning how to "feel" normal without a cigarette. i have cried every day - for some time now - I am not sure if I remember how to smile or laugh. I feel bitter and cold. I have a doctor's approinment on Friday - Please pray for me.