smoking foggs up everything,..it foggs up your brain you cant feel your emotions oh u get sad and mad and all that but instead of dealing with it you run and hide behind a cigarette... when you cant do that anymore you have to deal with how you really feel about things...
i never learned how to make real friends ... my friends were always the people i met and talked to around the ashtray during break or outside while at a place smoking is not allowed...
and it was always my escape.. if someone or something pissed me off i would just disappear .. i would isolate smoke a cigarette and maybe just leave...
well now that i am getting close to 1 1/2 yrs quit i am a toddler... i am learning how to deal with these issues more and more...and its really hard...i have a sister whom i love dearly and i know she loves me...except i now notice how she is always making me feel inferior...we work in the same building but i havent seen her for 3 weeks... when i do she comments on how i look like i am dressing better... meaning i was wearing rags before?..ugh..lord help me understand... am i just being over sensitive?...it cuts me like a knife...
well i dont smoke anymore so now i have to learn how to push these insecure feeling s out of my mind... maybe its just a good thing i dont see her to often,.,, but it gets lonely without friends...this is the catch 22 of quitting for me
