At Thanksgiving last year, I asked our most knowledgeable, eloquent, courteous and supportive Elders to answer this question: "What are we recovering from?"
I highly recommend you read the original blog first. (Please, do not comment on the original material, as it is reserved for those with more than one year at qutting.)
As originator of this topic, I wanted to respond, too, and I've done that here, where it is appropriate. (You can comment below, as well, if you want to add something pertinent to this topic.) All combined, these blogs and comments could form an empowering collection of information and perspectives.
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My own personal experience and truth, as I know it and feel it.
Am I recovering from addiction? Yes.
Am I recovering from an “ addiction affliction”? Most certainly. Addiction to the drug nicotine, and the affliction of habitually using cigarettes.
And, there’s much more to it, still.
I am recovering from a persistent priorities disorder. I am really resonating with this concept, far more than I ever will with the connotations of addiction or disease. You see, dis-order signals to me that a re-order is possible, and that’s so much more empowering and liberating!
29 years ago, I eagerly chose to start smoking, just like so many of the adult role models in my life. I ignored common sense and logic and medical warnings, all for the sake of possessing what I thought was the maturity, independence and masculinity of a “real man“ and a “grown-up”. My misguided priorities were disordered, and I willingly chose to follow them.
Now, owning up to a priorities disorder empowers me to unravel that past so I can understand the foolishness of why I smoked, and relapsed. I can map out the history of my disorder to form a blueprint of my dependency. This blueprint now sets the baseline from which to work away from, not be condemned to collapse back down to.
Like tearing apart a Rubik‘s Cube to understand how it works.
Yet despite all the unraveling and mapping and working I‘ve done, my priorities disorder is permanent, and cannot be cured. But, how is that so? Once I get re-ordered, shouldn’t my dis-order simply be gone? Well, you see, no matter what I do, I will always remember why I smoked, and that I did smoke, and even how to return to smoking again. And so long as cigarettes are legal to purchase and use, there will always be cigarettes and smokers around every corner. My addiction potential will always be capable of resurfacing at any time. (I see this fact proven in the stories of quitters who relapse after 4 or 6 or 12 years without smoking.)
“Once an addict, always an addict…just never an active addict. And never a smoker again.”
My lifesaving answers are in managing reality.
I can now choose to honor the re-ordering of my priorities. I can focus my choices toward sustaining a long-term recovery from dependence. A cure is not a realistic priority; instead, I will protect my escape from the ritual of using cigarettes and nicotine, and I will accept the responsibility of managing the emotional realities of my past drug use. I do have realistic control of these.
Prioritize the possible!
A body clean of smoke, tar, toxins, and nicotine is possible. A mind free of fixations on the rituals of cigarette use is possible. Arresting a dis-order is possible. Protecting healthier priorities against the threat of addiction potential is possible. These are key to a new priorities re-order, and we are accountable for managing an ongoing harmony between all of them.
Where once I coexisted with an active addiction, I will now coexist with a dynamic recovery. And I am willing to do that, for life. I can do what’s possible.
STORM: 340
