I have been smoking 40 years mostly cowboy killers last few years rolling my own because of cost. I have a quit date of Dec 5th. I have attempted to quit in the past about times 6 times: once for a year when I was really young 12 and had my father standing in my face like a drill sergeant telling me “you will not spend one penny I give you for butts” (put a little of the fear of God in me and no he was not abusive) and few times many years later for 1 week, 2 weeks and 4 ½ months.
Here’s my question. About 15 years ago I quit for 4 ½ months I was so close with Wellbutrin. I really can quit easily just have a problem staying quit. After about 4 months my head kept telling me “You need a cigarette” “You need a cigarette” “You need a cigarette” literally more than 100 times a day.
I went to meet my internet girlfriend for the first time (800 miles away DUH and yes was stupid enough to drive that ONCE) we got engaged a few months later. On that 15 hour trip home I was in an emotional downer because I had to leave her and thinking ”you need a cigarette” over and over and I broke down and started smoking again.
Any clue how to stop this trigger? I know the girlfriend made it worse but I was still thinking “You need a cigarette” “You need a cigarette” “You need a cigarette”.
Thank You
Quit or Die
