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Share your quitting journey

12 days to quit

tjones09
Member
0 7 2

im good at writing poetry but i am not good at writing blogs but ima try my best to make this first blog very interesting!

 

here it is only 12 days til i quit smoking forever. december 5, 2014 is my quit date and im VERY nervous and anxious and also scared. for a long time now i have been dependent on cigarettes as a way to cope with lifes unbecoming events. its always the negative things that seem to give us much pleasure right? yes and no. it gives us the pleasure we hope to gain at the time were goin through something, at least thats what our mind manipulates is into thinking. but in reality it actually destroys us in the process.

 

cigarettes destroyed my breathing. i already had a breathing condition before i started smoking. asthma. all my life i was told if i smoke with asthma id die quicker. id told myself id take that chance. hell my grandma been smoking almost all her life and she still looks fine. from the outside but on the inside whats really going on? the coughs, dry mouth, bad breathe, yellowed teeth its slowly deterioting her but she doesnt know it. you never know unless your looking from the outside.

 

so one day i decided to look in the mirror. i was not happy with the results. wrinkles, yellowed teeth, germs and stains in my teeth. i dont know but its like smoking made me lazy to the point i wasnt taking care of my teeth properly. my gums started to hurt especially when i chew, i cant even chew steak! i used the excuse, "oh its just my wisdom teeth growing in" to make up for the pain but after awhile i realized i was lying to myself. nothing could make my teeth feel this way but obsessive smoking. 

 

you seem im  chain smoker. i dont have to triggers to set me off i just smoke to smoke. the worst time is when i stress. one day i caught myself going on my third pack in one day when i was stressing. thats almost $16.00 worth of packs i wasted right there. i was blowing through money and packs and i wouldnt stop til i felt satisfied. but after  while i realized ill never feel satisfied.

 

the more i think and prepare for this quit day the more anxious i feel to smoke cigarettes even more. this is probably my 6th time i tried to quit but ive always tried to quit cold turkey. never worked for me, i have bad nerves that set off an alarm for my triggers and i gave in too quick. im glad i came across EX because i didnt think there was any hope for me. this really challenges me and prepares me more in a way than i can imagine. and i thank everyone who is going to support me in this journey.

 

i hope i didnt bore you too much! i just went off rambling in my own world but i must say i feel alot better because during this time while writing i was urged to grab a cigarette. but writing this blog has allowed me to delay time. 

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